Tomatin, Johnnie Walker, Evan Williams, Golden Sheaf, Bushmills

Dan:

Episode 229 of the Library Pubcast being recorded as always, 90th and Fort in Omaha, Nebraska. Make sure you get out to Library Pub, seven days a week at about noon, and then at about 1:00 AM call your Uber or stumble home, because we be closing down.

Matt:

Wow, that’s terrible English.

Dan:

Isn’t it?

Matt:

Yeah. Drives me nuts.

Chris:

Isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Mark:

Are you going to axe a question, or call an ambulance?

Dan:

Oh my god.

Chris:

Ambulance.

Dan:

Or aluminum? Fucking Brits.

Mark:

Liberry.

Dan:

We’re going to the liberry.

Matt:

How do you get liberry? The R is pretty pronounced.

Mark:

And there’s two of them, not just one.

Dan:

It probably has to do with the paint chips they ate when they were children.

Matt:

Well, they say the second one.

Dan:

They were really good.

Matt:

Liberry.

Dan:

Blue was my favorite.

Matt:

Blue? Blue paint chips?

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

Probably had the highest lead content.

Dan:

Did you have a favorite?

Chris:

No, they were all…

Dan:

Because you had so many other kids that had to feed, you didn’t get to the paint chips.

Chris:

I got to the paint chips, it’s just They were all different colors.

Dan:

Yeah. Oh you had the rainbow.

Chris:

Lived in that house a long time.

Dan:

Nice.

Chris:

A lot of different colors on the walls.

Matt:

Weird.

Dan:

Let’s see, weekends. Matt did the Packers play this weekend?

Matt:

No. We had a bye this week so it was a moral win for the team.

Dan:

Congratulations. It was a great win for you. Huskers didn’t lose and Packers didn’t lose.

Matt:

Yeah, it was a good football weekend. So played golf yesterday. That was cold.

Chris:

Yeah.

Matt:

Yeah, and if you want to play Sunday, there’s a spot in the foursome.

Chris:

We’ll see.

Matt:

My brother’s birthday was Saturday, so we got together and did some stuff for that yesterday.

Dan:

Is that the brother with the horrible story about his nuts?

Matt:

Yes.

Chris:

His only brother?

Dan:

Oh, your only brother.

Matt:

It’s my only brother. Yeah. After me my parents were like, oh fuck.

Dan:

See, my parents decided to stop with my brother and then here I came.

Matt:

You were in groups. I know someone that had that happen once.

Dan:

And they spent the last 40 years saying, Goddammit, why?

Matt:

Son of a bitch.

Dan:

Yep. Mark, how was your weekend?

Mark:

Aight.

Matt:

Oh, aight. Nice.

Mark:

It was fine.

Chris:

It’s his birthday.

Mark:

Saturday was interesting.

Dan:

Is it Packer? Sorry. Creighton season?

Mark:

Yes.

Dan:

Yeah. How are they doing?

Mark:

Two and Oh, they won on Sunday by a million against a team they shouldn’t really play.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

Kalkbrenner threw up 49 points.

Dan:

Jesus.

Matt:

He was like 20 for 22.

Mark:

That was on…

Matt:

Friday. Thursday.

Mark:

Thursday because Thursday, Sunday. Yeah. He’s only the second college basketball player to put up 49 points on 90% shooting.

Chris:

Holy crap. That’s pretty good.

Matt:

Yeah. Great game for the seven foot two center.

Dan:

Something like that. I always call it the ESPN stat. It’s the little stat that always kind of comes up at the bottom of the screen. I was watching the Texans Lions game last night and the stat came up that this was the first time that an opponent had came back down by 10 at the start of the second half, when the losing team had a quarterback that had thrown more than five interceptions since 1968.

Chris:

I thought it was 19 [inaudible 00:03:29]. So at the end of the game-

Dan:

You saw it?

Chris:

Yeah, I did because at the end of the game because they were down more than that.

Dan:

Who the fuck found that stat?

Chris:

AI?

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

Did anybody see the Texans uniforms yesterday?

Dan:

I thought they were kind of cool.

Matt:

I thought they were really cool.

Dan:

I like the helmet, especially

Matt:

The shiny red helmet.

Dan:

Metallic red.

Matt:

And then the Thursday night game.

Chris:

Let’s not talk about it. We can stop.

Matt:

What’s their asses uniforms?

Chris:

Looked horrible.

Dan:

Ravens?

Chris:

Looked horrible.

Dan:

The helmets, the matte blue.

Matt:

With the flat purple.

Chris:

Looked dumb.

Dan:

Sorry.

Chris:

Looked horrible.

Matt:

Nah, they looked pretty tough.

Chris:

No, they didn’t. They did not look tough at all.

Dan:

Did anybody see the Ravens? Sorry did anybody see the Texans in the second half of that game last night?

Matt:

No.

Dan:

Because I don’t-

Chris:

They were horrible.

Dan:

They forgot to show up.

Chris:

Yeah.

Dan:

They forgot to leave the-

Matt:

They looked good in the first half though.

Dan:

Looked really good. Yeah. Chris has to take a phone call. So anything else for the weekend? Anything fun?

Mark:

Well, as an aside.

Dan:

Go ahead and pull that microphone.

Mark:

As an aside, three of the last five days, there’s been a white SUV pulled in parking lot, in front of the window. And the lady that gets out is absolutely fucking crazy.

Dan:

Oh

Mark:

No. Let me explain crazy.

Dan:

That’s not very nice to say about your wife.

Mark:

No.

Dan:

It’s not Moe?

Mark:

She’s crazy too, but in a way different way. This lady gets out of her car, closes the door, tries the door, it opens. Then she tries the back door and it opens. She slams both of them, gets back in the car, then gets back out the car. Then slams the door and then slams the back door, and then starts yelling at the car, swearing at it. “You fucking thing. Goddammit.” Now what she’s doing is she’s hitting the lock on the inside of the car, so-

Dan:

Like a house door.

Mark:

It automatically unlocks because the fob’s still in the car. Then she gets out and it’s not locked. Friday, when she did this, she not only slammed the doors and swore at the car, when she got at the front of it, she started pounding on the hood.

Dan:

Oh my God.

Mark:

I mean, and yelling and screaming. And this lady has got to be in her late seventies, early eighties. I’m thinking to myself, if she’s married, that guy has got to be beat down.

Matt:

I mean, as long as he does what he’s supposed to do, they probably get along great.

Chris:

Or he beats her.

Dan:

Usually in that situation, it still doesn’t work. I mean…

Matt:

It happens.

Dan:

You get beat down and you just give up on life. Just go through the motions.

Matt:

It happens.

Dan:

By the way, this is a public service announcement. Men and women, if you’re in that relationship, just tell them to go fuck themselves and go live a better life.

Matt:

Well, maybe do that over the phone or via text.

Dan:

Yeah, that’s a better idea.

Mark:

Or by a sheriff.

Matt:

If it’s like physically abusive-

Dan:

Can we call Aaron?

Mark:

Hey, you can get a court order telling them to get out.

Matt:

Yes you can.

Dan:

Chris, do you want to talk about your weekend?

Chris:

No, nothing really. Did anything really?

Mark:

How’d the [inaudible 00:06:46] do?

Chris:

We don’t talk about that game last Thursday because they got cheated every which way.

Matt:

They should have won.

Mark:

Are they actually going to get the number one draft pick this year?

Chris:

No.

Dan:

No. Cowboys are going to get that.

Chris:

Even people are still talking that they’re on the bubble at four and six.

Dan:

I don’t know how they’re on. Are they in a bad division?

Chris:

No, it’s just the way the AFC is tumbling down, the teams that are freaking eight and oh and seven and one, and there’s a big discrepancy between teams that are five and five and four and six. Just the way that it’s tumbling. I mean, AFC North could potentially send three teams back to the playoffs like they did last year.

Matt:

They could.

Dan:

Are they…

Chris:

I don’t know. That was a hurting game.

Dan:

Are they in bye week?

Chris:

No, they’ll play Chargers Sunday night.

Dan:

Okay, so a little bit of a longer week.

Chris:

Yeah.

Mark:

Another aside.

Dan:

Oh, here we go.

Mark:

Yesterday, a rather large dog was in here. Very sweet dog. Lady Mac. She’s a sweetie. There was a balloon in the bar and for an hour she didn’t notice the balloon. Then she noticed it, and keep in mind this dog is four foot at the shoulders and huge.

Dan:

A couple of months old.

Mark:

It’s five I think. Scared spitless of it. Started backing up and barking at the balloon. It got so bad we had to take the balloon in the back room so she couldn’t see it.

Chris:

That’s awesome.

Dan:

That’s hilarious.

Mark:

Hold on. There’s more.

Dan:

Oh.

Chris:

But wait, there’s more.

Mark:

And I thought that was weird. I’d never seen a dog react that way to a balloon. The balloon is still here. I got here this morning and after about a half hour Ted noticed the balloon. Grr. Started barking at the balloon but wouldn’t get close. Scared spitless of it now. Now the balloon is sitting behind me and the dog is laying on my feet and won’t move because he’s scared of the balloon.

Dan:

Balloons are scary.

Matt:

When they pop.

Dan:

Yeah. Our dog was terrified of cool whip cans.

Chris:

Cool whip?

Dan:

For a while because Sarah…

Matt:

Like the aerosol can?

Dan:

Yeah. Sarah as a treat would squirt a little bit in her mouth and then it popped.

Mark:

What the fuck?

Dan:

I think Piper pooped a little bit.

Matt:

Her cheeks puff out.

Dan:

Scared the hell out of her. I had a fun weekend. I had a great weekend. Got to watch a NASCAR champion get crowned on Sunday. But my achievement for the weekend was an all day smoking session of chili.

Matt:

Weed?

Dan:

Chili.

Matt:

Oh, chili.

Chris:

He smoked chili.

Dan:

Yeah.

Chris:

Cool. But that’s pretty good, especially today.

Dan:

It is fucking amazing.

Mark:

The only problem is you got to open the smoker every half hour and stir.

Dan:

Oh no, you don’t have to. You can because it helps impede more smoke into it, but…

Chris:

Impede.

Dan:

I didn’t.

Mark:

Incorrect use of that word.

Dan:

Impart?

Mark:

That would be correct use.

Chris:

Infused?

Matt:

Infused.

Dan:

See. I just took, thanks to Jeremiah, one of the great podcast fans.

Matt:

Hey buddy.

Dan:

I got some deer meat and ground it all together. Did a pork sausage blend. Made it into a giant mound, put it on the top shelf of the smoker, and then took a Dutch oven with all the chilies and the tomatoes and the sauce.

Matt:

Every time I hear Dutch oven, I just think of farting and pulling the covers up.

Dan:

Giving a good Dutch oven to the wife.

Matt:

That’s all I think.

Dan:

Slide that baby underneath there. Let it smoke for three hours. Let the drippings from the deer meat and the pork sausage drip into the pot and render down. Then you break it all up, put it in there, and then let it smoke for another six to 10 hours depending on how much smoke you want in there. And we let it go for about another two hours after we originally tasted it when we combined it all together, because I couldn’t take it anymore. That was so good.

Mark:

I heard, speaking of tasting, I heard on the radio this morning coming up, your friend, what’s his name?

Dan:

Matt Price?

Mark:

No

Dan:

Crash Davis.

Mark:

Crash and I agree with him completely. He always brings up…

Chris:

Chili food to fire.

Mark:

He does do that a lot. Polls and poll about food. He’s reading it. Only 21% of people say that they have tasted their food they’re cooking with the spoon and then reused it again. 21. Dude.

Dan:

That’s bull. They’re lying.

Mark:

I agree.

Dan:

They’re lying.

Mark:

Dude, everybody that cooks at home uses the same spoon all the time.

Matt:

If I’m cooking at home for just myself, yeah, that’s fine.

Mark:

In a restaurant, don’t do that.

Matt:

But when I’ve been in a kitchen, we used to keep big buckets of plastic spoons and then you would plastic spoon and throw it away. At home, who gives a shit?

Dan:

Right.

Mark:

Yes.

Dan:

We’re all in the same agreement. That’s a bullshit poll. I call foul, but Gallup got paid to do it.

Matt:

But there again, if I’m cooking for a group, I go back to the plastic spoon.

Dan:

Right. You got to change up your cooking strategy because my germs are my germs.

Matt:

Yeah.

Dan:

You don’t need to have my germs when I’m cooking for you at my house.

Chris:

Unless you’re Sarah when she gets all…

Dan:

Yeah. So chili on Saturday. Video game, Saturday night. Watched the NASCAR Championship race on Sunday. Everyone’s mad because they don’t like the winner.

Mark:

Because he’s not the best driver. He just know how to play the game.

Dan:

Yeah, which it’s funny.

Mark:

It’s both.

Dan:

In no other sport-

Mark:

Can’t the other guys, ergo, figure out how to play the game?

Dan:

Right. I mean, he won. He did what he had to do. He won quite a bit. And there was a couple of times we had champions in the past that didn’t win a race, but they were consistently top five, so they won a championship.

Mark:

I read an article this morning about it and they explained how it worked and what happened. And was like, okay, so what you’re saying is you’re not pissed because he won. You’re pissed because you weren’t smart enough to play the same game. You won nine more races than that guy won, but you didn’t win. Why is that?

Chris:

What you’re saying is that-

Matt:

Sounds like consistency is the key.

Dan:

That used to be it, but now it’s more about winning. It’s more focused on winning races.

Chris:

But you can mark all of that.

Dan:

I always call back to the year the New York Giants won the Super Bowl and they barely made it into the playoffs.

Mark:

Yeah, but they got so hot in the playoffs.

Chris:

Man, is that the one that they caught on the head?

Dan:

Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah. That was so awesome.

Dan:

They beat the, didn’t they beat-

Chris:

Beat the Patriots.

Dan:

They beat the Patriots and if the Patriots would’ve won it, they’d have been the first undefeated team in modern era.

Chris:

Yep. That was the only game that they lost. I loved it. I was living in Vermont and I was surrounded by Patriot fans.

Mark:

Wasn’t that Eli?

Chris:

Yeah. Yeah.

Mark:

Oh, Eli must have a shit ton money.

Chris:

Well, he’s won two Super Bowls. If he doesn’t, he’s really bad.

Mark:

Let me finish. You can look this up. Eli was just invited to join Augusta.

Chris:

Wow.

Mark:

Yes.

Chris:

Peyton’s not a member?

Mark:

No.

Chris:

I can’t wait. I hope they… So I exclusively watch Manning cast now that I’ve been on Monday nights. I think that’s what it’s, yeah, that’s me. It’s Mondays.

Mark:

Because it’s funny.

Chris:

It’s hilarious, man. They have good guests and I just love it.

Dan:

They don’t pull any punches.

Chris:

No they don’t.

Dan:

The two brothers are mean to each other.

Matt:

They don’t have to. They’re brothers.

Dan:

But also Bill Belichick went on there one night and-

Chris:

He’s on there all the time. All the time.

Dan:

He absolutely burned Peyton one night. It was, I mean, they don’t hold back.

Matt:

Like set him on fire?

Dan:

Yes. Luckily-

Matt:

That’s not nice.

Dan:

… The built-in sprinkler system for his forehead put him out.

Matt:

That’s true. He does have a big nugget.

Chris:

Eli plays the younger brother character so well. You know that he’s like, it’s just funny. I enjoy it. I enjoy it.

Dan:

Giant head, cut out the head.

Chris:

Yeah, it is.

Dan:

Obviously Photoshop, but the forehead is eight inches and the rest of the face is three or four.

Chris:

So I give Joe shit because he literally has the same exact hair as…

Dan:

Oh my God. Joe is the same head.

Chris:

Same exact hair as Peyton Manning.

Dan:

Our manager at Johnson Brothers is from nose to top is Peyton Manning’s head.

Chris:

Seriously. And hair. His hair. It’s mostly his hair.

Dan:

Good stuff. All right, so that was it. Anything else? I saw we had a death, a celebrity death.

Matt:

Who died now?

Dan:

Who died?

Chris:

Wasn’t there a couple people that died?

Matt:

I mean, a lot of people died.

Chris:

Well, a lot of people always die.

Matt:

We just don’t know any of them.

Chris:

There’s a lot more dead people than alive people.

Dan:

Yeah, there is.

Matt:

Especially in heaven.

Chris:

Where there’s no beer.

Mark:

Where, by the way, there is no beer.

Matt:

That’s why we drink it here.

Chris:

It’s my grandpa’s favorite song. Even played it at his funeral.

Matt:

Really?

Chris:

Yeah.

Matt:

Really?

Chris:

Yeah.

Matt:

That’s hilarious.

Dan:

That’s right. Damn it, he was pretty famous.

Chris:

Yeah, I know. I remember seeing it.

Dan:

What the hell was his name?

Matt:

Riveting.

Dan:

Right? This is great content.

Matt:

We shall call him Dead Guy.

Dan:

Oh, well, one of them that’s from my world, that I should have definitely remembered. Bobby Allison, famous NASCAR driver passed away peacefully at his home, surrounded by friends and family.

Chris:

Tony Todd?

Dan:

Is that who I’m thinking of?

Chris:

I don’t know.

Matt:

Who’s Tony Todd?

Chris:

Candyman.

Dan:

Yep. That’s who I’m thinking of.

Matt:

That played Candyman? That is one of the scariest fucking movies ever.

Chris:

His voice in that.

Dan:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.

Matt:

Oh.

Chris:

Candyman. Candyman.

Matt:

You need to watch it.

Chris:

It’s pretty, yeah, it’s creepy.

Matt:

Which I don’t know if it was creepy because I was like 15 when it came out, or it’s really just that scary. I have never watched it again. With the bees and shit.

Chris:

Doesn’t that come out of his mouth?

Matt:

Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah.

Dan:

All right. Right. Well Mark, I don’t feel like teasing you today. Let’s try some whiskey.

Mark:

Okay.

Matt:

Wow. Long weekend, huh?

Dan:

Yeah. I’m fucking tired.

Matt:

Exhausted.

Mark:

The first whiskey we’re tasting today is Tomatin 12-year. This is a double cask Highland whiskey aged first in ex-Bourbon. Then aged in Sherry casks for six to nine months. It is value-priced at 50 bucks.

Dan:

It’s got a nice strong nose.

Chris:

Super apple-y, like apple apple cider apple. Anybody else getting that?

Mark:

Yes. Yes. Definitely.

Chris:

That’s all I get.

Matt:

Sorry, I’m a little stuffed up.

Dan:

It’s all right.

Mark:

That’s good.

Chris:

Brought to you by the wonderful people at Phillips Distillery.

Matt:

Is that who makes this or owns or brings it into the country?

Chris:

That’s pretty good.

Mark:

Apple, raisin.

Dan:

Wait, I sell that?

Chris:

Yeah.

Dan:

Oh yeah.

Chris:

We got plenty in stock too. They got the Dualchas too.

Mark:

Oh, it’s yours? What’s wholesale on it?

Chris:

On the 12?

Mark:

Yeah.

Chris:

So it’s going to be in the neighborhood of 42 probably on the shelf, but 36 your price.

Mark:

And there is nothing wrong with that whiskey.

Chris:

I like the package.

Matt:

Oh, well, thank you.

Chris:

Yeah, I’m looking around.

Mark:

But you could buy that and take it home for the weekend and be just fine. Now if you’re really bad, you take it home for a Friday night, but you’re not going to feel good on Saturday.

Chris:

No. I don’t like hangovers.

Matt:

It is 43%.

Chris:

The color scheme for the label is kind of weird for me. I don’t know why, if I’m saying anything bad about…

Mark:

I’m not a fan of gold writing on glass without people label… Makes it hard to read.

Chris:

Yeah, Matt doesn’t like that.

Matt’s not a fan.

Matt:

No, not one bit.

Chris:

If a juice in a bottle was like a nine or a 10 and it had gold writing on it, it’d instantly go down to like a seven.

Dan:

Oh, you’re dropping it down?

Chris:

No, Matt would.

Matt:

Oh yeah. Yeah. Put a paper label on that thing.

Dan:

Don’t be a dick.

Matt:

I just don’t understand.

Mark:

Don’t use a gold because it reflects, you can’t read it.

Chris:

You got to take a picture with your phone and then zoom in on the picture on your phone.

Dan:

I have never looked at a bottle on the shelf and thought, you know what? That’s got gold lettering. That’s got to be good.

Matt:

God damn it. I bet it’s wonderful.

Dan:

I usually think that’s got gold lettering, they’re covering it up.

Matt:

I can’t read that. Why is that bottle so shiny? No, shit, for 50 bucks, this would be a nice weekend bottle.

Mark:

Now the end of the palate beginning to finish is a little raw, but it is a 12-year-old and it is 50 bucks. You’re not buying Macallan 18.

Matt:

Not for 50 bucks you’re not, unless you know a guy.

Mark:

Fell out of the back of a truck.

Matt:

Know a guy named Schmary.

Mark:

That’s good.

Matt:

Yep. That’s a winner.

Dan:

Tomatin 12-year available at Library Pub for…

Matt:

9

Chris:

Nine.

Dan:

That is value.

Matt:

That’s a full banger.

Dan:

Damn. Two and a quarter ounce pour.

Matt:

Two and a quarter ounce pour.

Chris:

I can’t even think of some crazy wit about this wizard’s name. It’s just Tomatin.

Matt:

He’s like a transplant. He just keeps to himself off on the side. Oh, that’s Tom.

Chris:

Atin.

Mark:

Some call me…

Chris:

Tomatin.

Mark:

Tom.

Matt:

Matin.

Chris:

Here’s my tin. My name’s Tom. Here’s my tin.

Matt:

Oh, sorry.

Dan:

He’s starting to quote Monty Python. We need to move forward.

Mark:

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Dan:

Oh boy.

Matt:

This is one I am about 99% sure we have never done.

Chris:

We haven’t ever done that.

Mark:

There’s a reason for that.

Chris:

But we’ve done some, but we have, because I’ve talked about this. This was when I got into the industry. This was the first place I did a whiskey tasting and it was, I’m going to do Johnnie. And I didn’t know anything about Johnnie Walker is Johnnie Walker. So I’m going to do a Johnnie Walker tasting and it was the worst shit that I had… At that point it was just so PD. I like campfires, but I don’t like drinking them. And then they had the gold, which I don’t think they make anymore. The one that was chilled.

Matt:

No, we got a bottle of gold up there. They don’t put it in the gold bottle anymore.

Chris:

What was the one that they chilled though? Yeah, you got it. You know what I’m talking about.

Mark:

Johnnie Walker back in the early teens, or late ’11, ’12, quit making green, gold, and one other.

Matt:

Double black.

Dan:

Because we do now actually have to differentiate. Are you talking about the 19 teens or the 20 teens?

Mark:

Oh, I thought you weren’t going to pick on me today?

Dan:

No, I’m asking for clarification.

Mark:

20

Matt:

Like 10 years ago.

Dan:

Okay.

Mark:

Then there was such a backlash for them stopping to make it, in 2017 they came back and said, we are going to once again make green and gold and double black.

Chris:

Everybody was like, yay. They got out their little flags and they go, woo. Sorry, that was a Monty Python thing too.

Mark:

Camelot is a very silly place.

Chris:

Yay.

Dan:

You’re looking good today.

Matt:

Thanks. So do you, Dan.

Dan:

You look chipper.

Matt:

That pullover looks great on you.

Dan:

Did you do something with your beard?

Mark:

Again, this is Johnnie Green.

Chris:

Johnnie Green. Johnnie Green. And I was 46 years old today that I realized that Johnnie was spelled with an IE. I never even realized it.

Matt:

Like a chick.

Chris:

Yeah.

Dan:

If the Tomatin was an eight on the nose scale, this is a two.

Mark:

Wow. Well.

Dan:

It’s not bad, it’s just not there. Oh God. Sorry, I just had a flashback to Friday when I drank some Malort.

Chris:

Why? Why? Why? Who did that to you?

Dan:

It was picking on Jeremiah.

Matt:

Okay, so they-

Chris:

On Friday?

Matt:

They picked on Jeremiah yesterday and they were doing a shot called the Lot Lizard.

Mark:

Oh God.

Matt:

Which was…

Mark:

The grossest thing. I would not even smell it. Go ahead, Matt.

Matt:

This was a shot of rail whiskey.

Dan:

Okay. Which our rail whiskey’s not bad.

Matt:

We used very old Barton’s with tuna juice dumped in it.

Chris:

What in the hell? Who?

Matt:

Oh, you know who.

Mark:

You know the can tuna?

Matt:

Tom.

Chris:

Yeah. Yeah. Tom was in here and that was…

Matt:

Tom found out about this.

Mark:

He actually brought a can of tuna and a can opener.

Chris:

Did he do the shot?

Matt:

Yes.

Mark:

One thing I’ll give Tom props on, he is not one of those to buy you something horrible and then not do it himself and laugh at you. He will also try it. But dude, bad…

Dan:

I think we need to do it.

Matt:

No.

Chris:

It could be one of… I am curious.

Mark:

I thought Miller was going to throw up.

Chris:

Okay.

Matt:

I thought Miller was going to throw up.

Mark:

He turned around and got the throw up look on his face.

Dan:

Tuna in water or tuna in oil?

Matt:

I think it was water.

Dan:

Water.

Matt:

Which oh my god.

Dan:

I could drink tuna water.

Matt:

You do it in the oil and then you let it sit for 10 minutes and reseparate.

Chris:

I just…

Dan:

Get a little chunk in there.

Chris:

So here’s why I’m curious is because…

Matt:

Blend it all up.

Chris:

You guys have tried stuff that’s all really bad ingredients and has put together and magically it’s fantastic. But you wouldn’t eat any of those ingredients by itself. That’s what I feel like this could be. But if Miller is…

Matt:

Which Jeremiah is like, you think Malort’s going to stick with you when you burp?

Chris:

Oh my God. Yep. Nope. I don’t need, I’ve changed my mind.

Matt:

I don’t need the whiskey tuna burps.

Chris:

I am an American and I’m allowed to change my mind.

Dan:

I’m curious because I like tuna and I love Very Old Bartons.

Chris:

I like tuna too and I like Very Old Bartons.

Dan:

God knows. We all know I’ve taken a pull off the pickle jar and the olive jar, and you better well believe I’ve taken a pull off the tuna can.

Chris:

Wait. It’s just whiskey and tuna juice?

Mark:

Right.

Chris:

Okay, all right. For some reason I thought you were going to add Merlot to it or something?

Mark:

No.

Dan:

Oh goddammit. No.

Matt:

I don’t hate this whiskey.

Chris:

Would tuna juice be okay in a Bloody Mary?

Dan:

Come in next Sunday, we’ll find out. Go golf next Sunday and then come in and I’ll make you a Bloody Mary tuna.

Chris:

I can’t golf next Sunday. I’ve got stuff to do.

Matt:

Tuna fish Bloody Mary.

Mark:

That sounds disgusting.

Matt:

It’s definitely something they’re drinking in like San Francisco.

Dan:

I don’t know. I have higher regards for San Francisco than that.

Mark:

This is made up of…

Dan:

Oh, God. Moving on.

Mark:

I was trying.

Dan:

I think this can be retired again, the green label.

Matt:

It’s just kind of boring. It’s not bad.

Dan:

It’s light peatiness. So the people that really enjoy the peaty probably aren’t going to enjoy it. How much is it a bottle? 100?

Mark:

50 bucks.

Dan:

Okay.

Mark:

That’s not bad.

Chris:

It’s not bad.

Matt:

It’s not.

Chris:

It’s not. It’s very middle.

Mark:

Four is [inaudible 00:28:11].

Matt:

It is like a six.

Chris:

Yeah. Five, six, yeah.

Mark:

Again at 50 bucks a bottle of 60.

Chris:

Of a scotch.

Matt:

I’m buying the bottle of Tomatin.

Dan:

Oh God. Yeah.

Chris:

Same.

Dan:

I’m letting it jump out the window.

Mark:

But if I went over to someone’s house and they had…

Matt:

I could drink this.

Mark:

They had Dewar’s, Johnnie Green or Ballantine. I’m drinking this.

Dan:

I’d go somewhere else.

Matt:

Sorry. We’re not friends anymore.

Chris:

Sorry, you suck.

Dan:

As I left, I’d say, listen, it’s been fun, but I think our relationship has…

Matt:

We had a good run.

Mark:

Do you have a Miller Lite?

Dan:

Can I get any piss water to get by?

Chris:

I think the thing that is just like, just how popular it is. It makes me mad.

Dan:

I honestly don’t think Johnnie Walker is that popular.

Chris:

Yes it is. It’s like Johnnie blue, Johnnie blue, Johnnie blue or whatever, like ooh.

Mark:

[inaudible 00:29:08] First bottle of Johnnie blue. It was $200.

Chris:

What is it now?

Matt:

You’re probably like, oh my God.

Chris:

What is it now?

Mark:

Yeah, it was like $200. Is it 240, I think. 200 bucks for a bottle of scotch. My God. And people were coming in going, you have Johnnie blue?

Dan:

See, it’s more about the aura.

Matt:

The lore.

Dan:

Yeah. Than anything.

Matt:

Which if anything, this guy looks like he’s leading a big gay parade.

Mark:

Keep in mind the United States imported no single malt whiskey until the late sixties. Prior to that all scotch whiskey was blends.

Matt:

No, but all in all, I could drink that. Probably make an okay cocktail.

Dan:

Can I wash it down with some tuna juice?

Mark:

See, there is nothing bad about that. There’s nothing really great, but you get a little bit of that highland space sized sweetness and just a little bit of that background smoky peaty, but really light. And all in all the sweetness kind of overpowers the smokiness. If you were an [inaudible 00:30:32] scotch drinker…

Matt:

Oh, you’d hate this.

Mark:

You would not like this.

Dan:

Yeah. All right, next one.

Matt:

Someone has that at their house, I’d drink it.

Mark:

Dan doesn’t like it, so he’s just moving right along.

Dan:

I got to get the taste out of my mouth. I don’t have any tuna juice.

Mark:

I’ll give you something to take the taste out of your mouth.

Dan:

I’ll take it.

Chris:

It’s salty.

Matt:

He doesn’t have tuna juice either.

Mark:

Dan, I think what you need to do next week, buy the cheap ass can of tuna.

Chris:

Why’s it got to be cheap ass, can’t you like…

Matt:

Oh, he bought the-

Chris:

Yeah, so buy two.

Matt:

I think the name brand of the tuna was Not Very Much Dolphin.

Dan:

Not a lot of dolphins.

Matt:

Not a lot of dolphins.

Chris:

Do a good, better, best scenario, man. Buy three. See if there is a difference.

Matt:

It definitely wasn’t Schooner tuna.

Dan:

If I’m doing this, you guys are doing it with me.

Mark:

No, no, no.

Matt:

No, I am not.

Mark:

We’re going to sit here and talk about what you do [inaudible 00:31:26].

Chris:

I’ll try the best one. If you buy three and one of a canned tuna, like we’re talking like a $20.

Dan:

If I donate a hundred dollars to your mustache for kids, will you do all three of them?

Matt:

Wow.

Mark:

Wow.

Chris:

You usually do donate.

Dan:

I’ll donate another hundred on top. I think I did 50 last year.

Chris:

Okay.

Dan:

Certainly did more than Tom.

Chris:

Man. I don’t want to come in here on Sunday though. I got too much shit to do on Sunday.

Mark:

Matt, this is going to be fun.

Dan:

Monday.

Mark:

For us.

Chris:

Okay.

Dan:

We’ll do it during the podcast on Monday.

Chris:

All right.

Matt:

If either one of you guys throws up, I’m going to be pissed.

Chris:

Yeah, but if I throw up, that means Mark’s going to throw up and it’ll be like a pukarama.

Mark:

There’s a door right there.

Matt:

It’ll be like that scene in Stand By Me with Lardass.

Chris:

I’m so loud.

Dan:

I need to pack my GoPro for this.

Matt:

The pie eating contest.

Chris:

Lardass. Lardass.

Dan:

Matt, move us on please. That’s not bad. I like that. I already sipped on it trying to get the Johnnie Walker out of my mouth.

Matt:

Okay.

Dan:

Fucking Johnnie.

Matt:

This is the Evan Williams single barrel vintage 2016. It’s 43.3%. They’re typically seven to 10 year in age. Recently they’re seven or eight years in the last six or eight years.

Chris:

Right.

Matt:

It’s by Heaven Hill, 78% corn, 10% rye, 12% barley, which this is pretty cool. They have this little-

Chris:

It tastes like juice.

Matt:

They have this little sticker on the back.

Chris:

Tastes like adult juice.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

This particular bottle was barreled on 3-10-2016. It was barrel number 150 and it was bottled on 8-9 of ’24. And they put that on the back of all of their single-barrel bottles. They’re the only people that do something like that, that they know of. So that’s the fun fact about that bottle, which I like it. I think it’s good.

Chris:

I think it’s really good. Maybe 6.6 proof?

Matt:

It’s 25 to $35 a bottle so it’s not crazy expensive. And yeah, only 43.3% so it doesn’t burn your face off.

Dan:

I get a nice amount of caramel.

Matt:

Kind of caramel, brown sugars.

Chris:

It’s very warm.

Matt:

Touch of cinnamon.

Dan:

Yeah. Is he staring at the balloon?

Chris:

He is.

Mark:

He has been for 40 minutes.

Chris:

Kind of want to put it on the ground and see what happens.

Dan:

We do it after the record button’s stopped?

Matt:

Jeremiah was trying to get me to do that to Lady Mac yesterday, and I was like, no, she likes me. You do it.

Mark:

And he did.

Matt:

Numerous times.

Dan:

Yep. I like that. That’s a good bourbon.

Matt:

And for 30 or so dollars a bottle.

Dan:

Oh God. Yeah.

Matt:

I don’t think you can really beat it.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

I personally think that’s better than Buffalo Trace, like regular Buffalo Trace. Sorry, Sazerac.

Chris:

I don’t disagree with you. It’s a freaking $24 bottle.

Matt:

A lot more character in it.

Dan:

It does. I think it’s got a lot more complexity on the palate.

Matt:

Spit on my microphone. I was so excited.

Chris:

You didn’t hawk tuah on it.

Matt:

I did not. Well, I’m not jacking it off yet.

Dan:

Okay, so that was Matt’s pick. How about our unopened treasure of the week?

Matt:

It’s over here. I’m finishing.

Dan:

Oh, you’re finishing the Evan Williams still?

Matt:

Talk amongst yourselves.

Mark:

While he’s finishing the Evan Williams. The December Tasting, which I believe is on the fourth this year, is an idea of Kevin came up with on Saturday. We are going to take three bourbons, take the entry level and their highest level, and taste them side by side.

Chris:

I like it.

Mark:

So you can say, okay, their entry is $26, their high end is 60 bucks. What’s the difference? How does it work? Is the difference worth the difference in price? So we are doing Knob nine and Knob 18, Henry McKenna 10 and the Elijah Craig, I think that’s barrel proof, is it Matt?

Matt:

That is the small batch.

Mark:

Small batch. And Elijah Craig 18.

Dan:

Okay. That’s an interesting idea.

Mark:

I thought it was.

Dan:

Yeah. We’ll see what happens.

Chris:

That’s fun.

Dan:

Different.

Chris:

It’s neat.

Dan:

It’s pretty difficult to come up with different things in whiskey anymore.

Matt:

It is.

Dan:

I mean, especially since speaking specifically about Whiskey Wednesdays, we’ve been doing them five years?

Matt:

A long, long time it seems like.

Dan:

And that was just when you guys took a couple year break?

Matt:

Well, we used to go September through May or June.

Chris:

Yeah, you stopped-

Matt:

And then we would take the summers off because people got shit going on in the summers.

Mark:

And then we got shit from people for not doing it in the summer. So one May I went, okay, I’ll keep doing these if you are going to come.

Dan:

We get a decent crowd. And every first Wednesday of the month at about 10 o’clock when I see Dan Whaley post, I went, Son of a bitch. I forgot again.

Mark:

Then…

Matt:

You need to set an alarm.

Dan:

I do.

Mark:

On the second Wednesday of December.

Chris:

And there’s more.

Mark:

And there’s more. We are going to have tasting for $25. It’s going to be one each of all of our barrel picks, because our new barrel picks will be here before then.

Matt:

We hope.

Mark:

No, it’s going to be here this week and next week.

Dan:

We hope.

Matt:

I don’t know how many times I heard two more weeks.

Mark:

Okay. Whatever. But the hook to it is we’re going to do the tasting, and if you buy a bottle of one of the barrel picks, we will take the $25 off your purchase price.

Dan:

Oh. And that sounds like an excellent holiday present for your boss or your friend named Dan.

Mark:

Exactly. What I was going to do, my initial idea was just do the tasting free, trying to sell the bottles. And then I thought about it and go, well, how many of these reprobates will show up just to drink free whiskey and then leave.

Dan:

Yeah.

Chris:

Those jerks.

Matt:

We’ll sell out.

Mark:

At least if we do it the way I’m describing, it’s still doing it for free for the people that buy a bottle, but not for the people that don’t buy a bottle.

Dan:

And we only have the Old Elk and the Smooth Ambler. Oh no. And the Jefferson’s, right?

Matt:

Jefferson’s.

Mark:

All those Smooth Ambler, Jefferson’s and Deer Hammer.

Dan:

That’ll-

Mark:

And there may well be a special taste at the end. I’ll say no more.

Dan:

Oh.

Matt:

I don’t fucking know.

Dan:

Well, the good news for me is I don’t have a podcast recording in December on Wednesdays, so I should be able to start joining again.

Mark:

For those of you that are just listening, the eye roll I just gave Dan, I could see my cerebellum. Because he has been promising to come to-

Dan:

I haven’t been promising.

Mark:

Okay. I’ll try to make it Mark, every month for the last year. And he’s been to one maybe.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

It happens. I’ve been to all of them.

Dan:

Because you work that night.

Matt:

Yep.

Dan:

Yep.

Mark:

I’ve been to all of them.

Dan:

Because you talk that night.

Mark:

Yes. Oh, did I tell you my political joke that can offend no one?

Dan:

Oh, let’s hear.

Mark:

I sat down for the tasting and the first thing I said was, I’m going to tell a political joke that can offend no one. That’s my roles and here’s the joke. I am so glad the election is over. Now I can go back to worrying about my Ozempic and my mesothelioma.

Chris:

I am offended.

Dan:

I hate-

Mark:

No, you’re not.

Dan:

I hate-

Mark:

You’re lying.

Dan:

… Watching network TV.

Chris:

Because I don’t know what those words mean. I’m really that dumb.

Matt:

They’re the prescription commercials.

Chris:

Oh.

Dan:

And for about-

Chris:

I’m still offended.

Matt:

They took them off the air for Trump.

Dan:

For about four or five days.

Mark:

Well, for all the political ads.

Dan:

My social media feed was full of the Fort something water issue. It was a military base.

Matt:

Oh, the… shit.

Mark:

Camp Lejeune.

Dan:

Yep, Camp Lejeune. Yep. There was some sort of lawsuit of, what’s the term I’m looking for?

Matt:

It was-

Dan:

When everybody gets together and sues-

Matt:

Class-

Dan:

Class action. That if you were at Camp Lejeune during this timeframe, then you could get involved in the settlement and get money back because the military apparently knew that the water was shit, and they didn’t do anything about it. You think maybe the geofencing targeting marketing company would’ve checked the box of former military before they served all these impressions out to everybody, but whatever. What do I know? I’m just a liquor sales rep.

Matt:

I don’t know anything about Camp Lejeune other than their water was tainted.

Mark:

The time frame for that was like 1952 to 1988.

Chris:

How much did they settle for? What was the class action? Anybody know?

Matt:

I don’t know.

Dan:

Let’s find out. We’ll do a little Google search.

Chris:

Like $1 billion?

Matt:

No, I [inaudible 00:41:39].

Dan:

And now it’s going to be in my search history

Chris:

Camp Lejeune at.

Matt:

No. I was part of a class action lawsuit a while ago and I got $13.

Dan:

Camp LeJeune is in-

Mark:

South Carolina.

Dan:

It’s not saying where. I don’t deny Mark’s right. That is not right.

Mark:

He is scared spitless.

Chris:

Jacksonville, Florida.

Dan:

So it’s in Georgia?

Chris:

Florida?

Mark:

Nope.

Chris:

Wilmington, Myrtle Beach, North Carolina. I think you’re right.

Dan:

It’s way too far north to be Carolina.

Chris:

No, it’s not. North Carolina. South Carolina.

Dan:

Oh.

Chris:

It is North Carolina.

Dan:

I don’t know my geography very well.

Mark:

Camp Lejeune is-

Chris:

Not over there, dude. There’s so many-

Mark:

Camp Lejeune is one of the two boot camps for Marines. It’s Camp Lejeune on the East Coast and someplace around San Diego.

Matt:

Pendleton.

Mark:

On the west coast.

Dan:

Yeah, so it looks like they expect the per person payout to range between 10,000 and a million.

Mark:

That’s a big between.

Dan:

It is.

Chris:

How much money did they settle for? Is it billions?

Dan:

I imagine that it’s not done yet.

Chris:

It’s got to be billions.

Matt:

It’s the government so they just print more money.

Dan:

I imagine it’s not done yet, so they…

Mark:

No, the case done.

Dan:

Oh, it is.

Mark:

You have to make a claim by a certain date, and I don’t know what the date is. The thing is, with that kind of case, once it’s decided, then you don’t have to retry it. So all you have to try is your damages.

Dan:

Jesus.

Chris:

All right. There we go.

Dan:

21 billion is what Congress-

Chris:

21 billion.

Dan:

… Settled before. If you got bladder cancer-

Mark:

Not million.

Chris:

Billion.

Mark:

Billion.

Dan:

If you got bladder cancer you can get between 200 and $700,000.

Chris:

That’s also with the credit card stuff, it’s 7 billion.

Matt:

Wow. Just for a little bladder cancer.

Dan:

Yeah. And then brain cancer, 800,000 to over a million. Breast cancer, 250,000 to 700,000. Cervical cancer, 250,000 to 500,000.

Matt:

Wow.

Chris:

Butthole cancer.

Dan:

Butt cancer.

Mark:

Pussies aren’t worth as much as boobies.

Dan:

And butts are worth the least.

Matt:

Wow. I just keep doing Owen Wilson over here.

Dan:

Oh my God. Wow. I can’t believe it.

Matt:

That’s terrible.

Dan:

Lung cancer, 350,000 to 650,000.

Matt:

Wow.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

Wow.

Dan:

Broken nose, nothing.

Matt:

Nothing.

Dan:

Oh, Matt, what have I got in front of me?

Matt:

This is the Jesus.

Mark:

Mark.

Chris:

Jesus.

Dan:

Unmark.

Matt:

Unmark.

Dan:

Does it mean delete it or end the mark?

Mark:

End mark. That phone call is from St. James Catholic Church.

Dan:

You fucking lied to the church?

Mark:

Well, yeah.

Matt:

So he lied to a lady.

Mark:

They want me-

Matt:

Not the Lord.

Mark:

… To buy a big ad on the back of the Sunday Bulletin.

Dan:

Yeah, that makes sense.

Matt:

For a Catholic church, definitely. Bar ad.

Dan:

Yeah. Why not?

Chris:

Makes sense. You’re right down the street, you’re neighbors.

Dan:

How much?

Mark:

I did it once. We got no business out of it.

Dan:

Well, you know anything, doing it once isn’t going to do you any good. Did Kevin really just tie the balloon to the dog?

Mark:

No, the dog is…

Dan:

Oh God. I wish. All right Matt.

Mark:

I saw somebody do that one time. Tie a balloon to the collar of a dog, and the problem was the dog would look up and sit, and then run.

Dan:

No, that’s not a problem. That’s comedy gold.

Mark:

No, it would go back behind him, but then when he stopped it slowly float up over him again and he’d start running.

Dan:

Goddammit. This stuff is good.

Matt:

It’s okay.

Dan:

I like it. I think this might be above the Evan Williams. Of course it’s probably twice as much?

Matt:

Yes. Which I’m looking at the price on the bottle and we need to revisit that.

Chris:

It’s definitely breakfast-y.

Mark:

Matt, Golden Sheaf actually came down 30 bucks.

Matt:

I know. They’re down around 80 to 90 now, which we still need to revisit that price.

Dan:

Is it too high? Is that why you’re…

Matt:

No, it’s too low.

Dan:

Oh.

Matt:

But anyways, this is a blend of 10-year Kentucky bourbon and 10-year Indiana bourbon, and a nine-year Tennessee bourbon.

Dan:

Too much flavor for Mark.

Matt:

And then they finished it for an extra 17 months.

Mark:

Too much heat.

Dan:

You’re crazy.

Matt:

In syrup barrels.

Dan:

Just keep pushing through, man.

Matt:

This is every week.

Chris:

Anybody have any bacon?

Matt:

This is 112 proof, so 56%. It’s part of their finished blended series, which I don’t get a lot of the maple out of it.

Chris:

I do. Bacon.

Dan:

I get brown sugar. Honestly, this reminds me of holiday season, like you got to wait till after Thanksgiving. Fuck you. November 1st I’m drinking this stuff and enjoying the holiday season, while I’m listening to some Carrie Underwood Christmas music.

Matt:

Why?

Chris:

Because Carrie Underwood is hot and she sounds great.

Matt:

I’d prefer to just look at her than listen to her.

Chris:

I mean, doesn’t she do Sunday night football or Monday night football?

Matt:

She does and that’s why I tune in two minutes into the first quarter.

Dan:

Her and Alison Krauss have the most beautiful voices I’ve ever heard.

Matt:

Now Alison Krauss, I would be up there with you on that.

Chris:

I really like that Alison Krauss and Led Zeppelin dude crossover. Did you guys hear that way back in the day?

Dan:

No. Uh-huh.

Mark:

It was really good.

Matt:

She tours with Willie Nelson.

Chris:

It was really good. It was really good.

Dan:

She’s amazing.

Chris:

If you have Spotify pop that one open. That one was really good.

Dan:

But Carrie Underwood, I went and bought her Christmas album. I can listen. It’s two albums.

Matt:

I have a Neil Diamond-

Dan:

I can listen to both sides.

Matt:

I have a Neil Diamond Christmas album.

Dan:

Whole way through.

Matt:

He’s Jewish.

Mark:

I was going to say interesting thing.

Dan:

He’s not in the song so he can’t be.

Matt:

He sings Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in Reggae style.

Dan:

Really?

Matt:

It’s one of the funniest and most horrible Christmas songs ever.

Chris:

God, I love Neil Diamond.

Matt:

Today. Yeah.

Chris:

Song sung Blue.

Dan:

Golden Sheaf.

Matt:

Do you remember the Gap commercial that-

Dan:

Oh, the Breakfast Dram.

Matt:

… Will Ferrell did as Neil Diamond?

Chris:

I don’t at all.

Matt:

It’s a jeans commercial at the end, all he does is go forever in Blue Jeans. Yeah.

Chris:

No, I don’t remember. Why don’t I remember that?

Matt:

I don’t know. You had to look that one up. It’s pretty funny. And he does a good Neil Diamond.

Dan:

This is Golden Sheaf the Breakfast Dram.

Matt:

The Breakfast Dram off of their finished blended series, which this is out of the same series from the one we did last week.

Dan:

I really like this.

Matt:

The creme de la corn.

Dan:

This is pretty good.

Matt:

I don’t hate it.

Dan:

It’s very dark. Do you know how long it’s aged?

Matt:

It is a blend of 10-year Kentucky, 10-year Indiana, nine-year Tennessee.

Dan:

God nailed it.

Matt:

And then it’s finished for 17 months in the syrup barrels.

Dan:

Maple syrup barrels. Yeah. Nailed it. I’m not surprised the darkness. A because of the 10 and 10 and nine, and then the maple syrup is going to add, even just 17 months is going to add quite a bit of darkness. That’s great. Golden Sheaf is killing it. He’s good.

Matt:

He does good stuff out there.

Mark:

He’s a dick.

Dan:

He’s a dick?

Mark:

He promised to come up here and do a tasting of his whiskies and blew me off.

Dan:

Well, sounds like you were the dick and he was blowing. Nevermind. Well, that’s not very nice for him to do that. But my interactions with him, he’s been…

Mark:

The guy from Sideshow showed up.

Matt:

Kip.

Dan:

Kip? I loved having Kip on the show. Was it Kip?

Matt:

Yup.

Dan:

Who’s the guy from…

Matt:

All the rings and stuff?

Dan:

Is it Keeper’s Heart?

Matt:

That was…

Chris:

Kip?

Dan:

I thought it was Kip.

Chris:

Where’s this like this?

Dan:

He’s got the beard and he’s just a really-

Matt:

You’re talking about the Irish guy that moved, that used to work for-

Dan:

No, that’s probably [inaudible 00:50:34].

Chris:

You’re talking about the guy that doesn’t drink, that-

Dan:

Yeah. He’s a bartender.

Chris:

He wears his hat like this?

Dan:

Yeah, it’s right on the top. It’s like set on his head, not down on it.

Chris:

He doesn’t drink?

Dan:

Kip, right?

Chris:

Yeah.

Dan:

What am I thinking of?

Mark:

Why do I want to talk to a guy about booze that doesn’t drink?

Dan:

Because he drank way too much to start off with.

Mark:

Well, I know, but how did you tell me anything about it?

Dan:

He’s still smart and he’s a mixologist.

Matt:

Mixologist.

Mark:

Pardon me? Why vomit?

Dan:

What was the Ron White line? The problem with my drinking is that I tried to get it all in the first 10 years or something like that.

Matt:

It happens. There’s people out there like that.

Dan:

Yeah. All right, I think that’s going to do it for us. Make sure [inaudible 00:51:22].

Chris:

We got one more, bro.

Dan:

Oh shit. I’m going to need some AJs. You didn’t mention that you had one.

Bushmills Black Bush Sherry Cask Reserve

Chris:

Bush Mills. Black Bush.

Dan:

Yeah.

Chris:

And this is really weird. So I pulled this for tasting last week, so that’s why I have this bottle. But this is different because it’s Sherry cask and the black label was never Sherry cask. And so now it feels like I’m going through a time portal or weird. But anyway, Bush Mills, Black Bush, Sherry cask. It never used to be that way. And we have it sitting here right in front of us. So let’s drink it. What are you laughing at?

Dan:

You.

Chris:

Why?

Dan:

For some reason, it’s just funny to me when you’re like… Because you know everything about this stuff when you do it and you’re like, this is different.

Matt:

It never used to be that way.

Dan:

It was not that way before.

Chris:

It was not that way.

Matt:

We’re changing policies.

Dan:

Anyways.

Matt:

That’s not the way we do it.

Dan:

After a long weekend that was a good laugh. Thank you.

Chris:

Glad I could help.

Dan:

Whoa.

Chris:

Is this what we’re drinking right now?

Dan:

Whoa. Oh, I’m still back on the Golden Sheaf.

Matt:

For being Sherry finish, this is so maple-y.

Chris:

This is easy.

Dan:

So much different. Oh, I’m going to like this. Oh God.

Chris:

You’re going to like this one? This Black Bush?

Matt:

This is almost like drinking water compared to the last one.

Chris:

I could probably crush this pretty easily.

Matt:

I could drink this with a straw.

Mark:

Do you know how many distilleries claim to be the world’s oldest, Scotland’s oldest-

Chris:

Four.

Mark:

… Ireland’s oldest.

Chris:

It is just a guess. You told me to guess.

Matt:

Really they need to go to the Asian countries and check those distilleries out.

Chris:

Exactly. There’s a bunch of monks.

Matt:

All the old ones. Well, the Fukano, I believe the oldest known recipe that they’ve been using is from 230 or 350 or some shit like that.

Dan:

Jesus.

Chris:

What does this one say? 18? What does it say right there?

Dan:

You playing with my finger?

Chris:

Yeah. Wow. What does it say? It’s says somewhere the year.

Dan:

1608

Chris:

1608. Yeah.

Matt:

Could say it’s a long time.

Dan:

It’s always interesting to me when they say those kinds of things because there is a amalgam of truth.

Mark:

Malgam. Amalgam.

Dan:

A minuscule amount of truth that comes out.

Chris:

A little bit of truth.

Matt:

Amalgam.

Dan:

I want to know what it is.

Chris:

Malgorithm.

Dan:

That’s a bold statement. Because when they throw little words in there, this was very blatant. The world’s oldest whiskey. And it was EY, so that eliminates the Irish, or sorry, the Scotch and the Japanese.

Chris:

That’s pretty good.

Matt:

I know the Irish people have been around longer than the American people.

Chris:

What?

Matt:

So they beat us.

Dan:

They have been. Very much so.

Chris:

Yeah, they have been around a long time.

Matt:

Just a few weeks.

Dan:

God, that’s good. Goddammit Chris.

Matt:

This is super easy.

Chris:

It surprised me so I was like, all right, well.

Matt:

Yeah, that’s just super easy. That could get messy.

Chris:

Yeah, it could. It’s not overly expensive either. It is…

Matt:

It’s like 60 a bottle, 50 a bottle?

Chris:

I don’t even know if it’s that. Let’s see here.

Mark:

45 would be my guess.

Dan:

And then that one in the other hole.

Mark:

Because-

Dan:

Thank you Matt.

Chris:

Nope. Don’t have liters.

Mark:

They probably don’t make liters.

Chris:

Yeah. 30 bucks, your cost. So 38, 39.

Dan:

God, that’s…

Chris:

7.50.

Dan:

All right, so Bush Mills, Black Bush.

Matt:

Black Bush.

Dan:

Sherry cask reserve. This is from Chris, the dealer.

Matt:

That’s neato.

Dan:

By the way, Jeremiah, we were sitting down here Friday talking and he’s like, what was with your guys’s last episode? I’m like, what are you talking about? And he’s like, you guys sounded all peppy and professional. And I’m like, oh, because we didn’t have an episode two weeks ago. I just republished the very first episode. And he’s like, oh, that makes sense.

Chris:

The very first episode that we ever did?

Dan:

Yeah, we didn’t even taste any whiskey. We just introduced ourselves.

Chris:

Really?

Matt:

For an hour.

Dan:

I am not picking on you. I am quoting Jeremiah and you were sitting here when he said it.

Chris:

Just so you know.

Dan:

I don’t think I’m going behind anybody’s back, but he said it was so long ago that you could understand Mark.

Matt:

Wow.

Chris:

Damn, dude.

Dan:

In his very niceness, he’s referring to before the accident.

Matt:

Before the tooth replacement.

Dan:

Yeah.

Matt:

Teeth replacing.

Dan:

I was talking about the Popeye’s accident, not the dentist office accident. Okay, bye everybody.

Matt:

[inaudible 00:56:40]. Thanks. Thanks for listening. This will be the last episode.

Dan:

Mark’s, I just can’t help myself. I’m sorry. I tried all episode.

Matt:

Honestly I forgot all about the dentist office accident.

Chris:

I did too. I mean, I didn’t, I just stopped bringing it up.

Dan:

I went 55 minutes without making fun of you. Do I get any credit for that?

Chris:

You didn’t make fun of him. You were just…

Mark:

Brett is really looking for some serious hours.

Matt:

Oh my God.

Chris:

Why are you going to punish everybody just for Dan’s hate?

Matt:

Punish our customers.

Dan:

It’s a different type of love that I have for you.

Matt:

Man love.

Dan:

Oh yeah. All right. The next Whiskey Wednesday coming up December 4th, which by the way is one day after my girlfriend’s birthday.

Matt:

She’s finally legal.

Chris:

She turns 19?

Dan:

Yeah.

Mark:

Well, legal in several Southern states.

Matt:

Most states.

Dan:

We’re going to be trying, well, they’re going to be trying Knob Creek, McKenna and Elijah Craig. I may be coming that night. Just not here.

Matt:

Good for you.

Dan:

They’re going to be doing the entry level and the high end. So that’ll be the two bourbons of each one of those. Would you say $40?

Mark:

But I don’t think we priced it yet. I can’t imagine it being much of 40.

Matt:

No.

Dan:

I can’t imagine either. That’s why I kind of went with that area. And by the way, that was kind of a question to see if you’d answer it at that time of what you were looking for for the price.

Matt:

Just looking for the price to be right.

Dan:

Right. Price is wrong motherfucker. Did I hear right? There’s a Happy Gilmore two in the works.

Chris:

There is.

Dan:

No Bob Barker though.

Mark:

No.

Dan:

Didn’t he die?

Mark:

Yes.

Dan:

He did die.

Chris:

Yeah, he did but when?

Dan:

I think it feels like it’s been a while. Don’t think there was a machine.

Matt:

Okay, hold on.

Dan:

Yep. What?

Matt:

This just came up on my phone. Mattel apologizes for a link to porn site on Wicked Movie doll boxes.

Chris:

What?

Matt:

It appears that the packages for the dolls were printed with a web address to an adult film site with the same name as the upcoming movie musical starring Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo.

Chris:

Is that AI being funny? People are really going to get a kick out of this? This is what I’m going to do.

Dan:

Well, I mean, I imagine somebody created a QR code that you could scan on the box? But instead-

Matt:

That’s what it is.

Dan:

… They use the porn browser.

Matt:

They use the wrong QR code.

Chris:

That’s hilarious.

Matt:

So Mattel is describing it as a misprint.

Chris:

Oh, it’s going to be worth so much money in 10 years.

Mark:

It just kept up on my computer too.

Chris:

It’s going to be worth so much money in 20 years. Hey, do you guys have that QR code of that Mattel?

Dan:

Yeah.

Mark:

It’s kind of like having Some Girls album by the Rolling Stones with the pictures actually on it.

Chris:

Sure, sure. Or like the wrong minted coins.

Dan:

Who was it?

Matt:

Which the parents are being advised that the misprinted incorrect website’s not appropriate for children. We’re just going to let you know.

Dan:

No kidding.

Matt:

That a website with dick-sucking is not appropriate for…

Dan:

Well, good news is if they live in Nebraska, then they can’t get through because they have to show their ID.

Matt:

It may not be that website.

Dan:

It’s true. I don’t think this is right. Mandy Moore? That’s definitely not right. It was an actress of that kind of…

Chris:

She’s so hot.

Dan:

She’s really attractive and very much wouldn’t do this. But Playboy put her on the cover because they did an interview with her, and her people sued them. Well, didn’t sue them, but sent a letter of cease and desist and they had to redo the cover.

Matt:

The cover.

Dan:

To put somebody else on there. But I went and bought one and that was the last Playboy I ever bought because we have the internet. You don’t pay for a magazine.

Matt:

God, Playboy stopped printing what? 10 years ago?

Dan:

Okay. I’m trying to remember the story. I think when Sarah and I were redoing our bedroom, she found it.

Matt:

Oh geez.

Dan:

She’s like, “What the fuck?” And I explained the story to her and she actually got it, but I must have bought it before that then.

Matt:

So she believed you?

Dan:

Yeah, she did.

Matt:

I just have this Mandy Moore porno magazine.

Dan:

This Bush Mills, so fucking good.

Chris:

It’s pretty good.

Dan:

Got anything else guys?

Matt:

No, I don’t think so.

Dan:

Matt, anything you want to talk about?

Matt:

Nope.

Dan:

No. Mark?

Mark:

Got nothing.

Dan:

Got nothing. We’re all done? Guys, thanks a lot for listening.

Chris:

I don’t have anything either.

Dan:

That was kind of rude. I didn’t even ask you, did I?

Chris:

No, but it’s expected. But I just want to point it out.

Dan:

Is it? Am I mean like that to you?

Chris:

Sometimes, but I don’t care really. I just like making you feel awkward.

Dan:

It’s definitely-

Mark:

Dan, I think you hurt his little Chris feelings.

Dan:

It’s like that time in front of 60 employees that you pointed out that I have a triple chin.

Chris:

I did not. This is so true.

Mark:

Definitely.

Chris:

It wasn’t 60 employees, it was just our team. No, it wasn’t.

Dan:

No, that was full GSM.

Chris:

I mean…

Matt:

Oh, don’t trip while you’re back [inaudible 01:01:50].

Mark:

I mean, it might’ve been.

Matt:

There might’ve been 60 people.

Chris:

A lot of people laughed with us.

Matt:

With us.

Chris:

You laughed too.

Dan:

At me. I laughed out of pain.

Chris:

No, you. Well…

Matt:

He laughed to hide the tears.

Chris:

Who’s fault that doesn’t know how to express their sadness.

Matt:

He laughs to hide the tears.

Dan:

You want me to cry in front of my co-workers?

Chris:

Yeah. That was the point.

Matt:

Wow.

Chris:

I’m just kidding.

Dan:

That’s why I said it.

Chris:

I’m just kidding. I think you have a lovely second and third chin.

Dan:

Shave my beard for charity and I get made fun of.

Matt:

I think all your chins are wonderful.

Chris:

They look very smooth when you shave them.

Matt:

That’s why I grow my beard longer.

Dan:

It’s definitely my mom’s genes.

Matt:

It hides my chins.

Chris:

Well, just don’t look at the Zoom that way. Put it up like when you do it in your car. You never have a double chin because it’s up in the air .

Dan:

I know when I was setting up by Zoom for that morning, I didn’t think one of my closest friends at the company is totally going to bust me out. I should change the angle of my camera.

Matt:

Did he ever just call you fat?

Chris:

No, because he’s not fat.

Dan:

He has.

Chris:

No I haven’t. No I haven’t.

Dan:

We’ve talked about my overweightness.

Chris:

We’ve talked about you wanting to work out. That’s you not happy with your physical appearance and this is what you wanted to do.

Matt:

That’s kind of you calling yourself fat.

Chris:

Yeah. I didn’t do anything.

Dan:

He didn’t disagree.

Chris:

Well, I gave you options to help fix that.

Dan:

It’s just as bad.

Matt:

He said, why don’t you eat less?

Chris:

I said, why don’t you go run?

Matt:

Fatso.

Dan:

You fat bastard.

Matt:

Quit eating babies.

Dan:

You shut your mouth. They’re delicious.

Matt:

If you cook them right.

Dan:

And if you eat them just right you can get a little taste of their soul.

Chris:

Baby back, baby back, baby back.

Mark:

God, can you just stop it now?

Dan:

Matt, say bye to everybody.

Matt:

Bye everybody.