Podcast Transcription
| Tom: | Episode 245, The Library podcast. The first podcast we have recorded without George Foreman in this world. |
| Matt: | That’s a rough one. He wasn’t that old either. |
| Tom: | I thought he was 80s. |
| Matt: | He’s 73. |
| Tom: | Oh yeah, probably. |
| Matt: | He wasn’t very old, but he did get punched in the face a lot. |
| Tom: | A lot. |
| Matt: | That could probably add to his early demise. |
| Chris: | That’s 20 years. |
| Tom: | We were lamenting it yesterday. Obviously the spokesman, I don’t think he was the inventor of, but he did the George Foreman grill. |
| Matt: | Do you know who that grill was originally supposed to be for? |
| Tom: | No. |
| Matt: | Hulk Hogan. |
| Tom: | Really? |
| Matt: | Yep. Hulk turned it down for an energy drink. |
| Chris: | An energy drink back then? |
| Matt: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | Which would’ve worked great now, not so much back then. |
| Matt: | No, it didn’t do much for the Hulk. |
| Chris: | It might be. |
| Tom: | Brother, 76 by the way, just to get. |
| Matt: | 47, I was close. |
| Tom: | I think his professional record was 70 some fights and five losses. |
| Matt: | He fought a lot. |
| Chris: | See right there in front of you. You got pulled up. |
| Tom: | It doesn’t. |
| Chris: | Yeah, I think it’s, he had less than 10 losses for sure. |
| Tom: | Yeah. It wasn’t cancer or anything. 81 total fights, 76 wins. 68 by K0, five losses. |
| Chris: | Oldest. |
| Matt: | That’s a lot of boxing. |
| Chris: | Oldest. |
| Mark: | When George hit you, you stayed hit. |
| Tom: | He was a big thick boy. |
| Matt: | Holyfield said it was like getting hit with a cinder block, when he punched you. |
| Chris: | And that’s his second go around. That’s after he retired, when he came back and won it again because I think he’s the oldest champion that’s there has ever been. Because he came back and won it after he retired. I totally forgot about that portion of it. |
| Matt: | He came back at 42. |
| Chris: | Yeah, I know. 42 and won. |
| Matt: | Kidding me. |
| Chris: | And became the champion. |
| Matt: | And beat people up. |
| Chris: | He’s like, the power wasn’t there, but his jaw was still there. |
| Tom: | I’m reading his Wikipedia page. Apparently he announced an exhibition match in 1975 that he was going to fight five fighters in one night. |
| Chris: | What? Are they fighters like me and you and Matt and Mark? |
| Tom: | I don’t know any of these guys. |
| Matt: | Well, if he’s doing that, then he should have just said, I’m going to fight five mad dudes. Just angry guys at the bar. He was worth about 300 million when he died. |
| Tom: | How much of that was the George Foreman? I mean… |
| Matt: | Probably a good chunk. |
| Tom: | Every one of us had a George Foreman. Right? |
| Matt: | I had a couple. |
| Chris: | Oh yeah. |
| Tom: | I had the small one and then when I liked it, I had a bigger one. And then when Sarah moved in, we got gifted from her dad, the giant one. |
| Matt: | Yeah. That thing was huge. |
| Tom: | Man, I’ll tell you, that thing got a lot of use. |
| Matt: | I used mine a few times. |
| Mark: | Once they came out, the one where the plate would come out to wash them. It was a lot more useful. |
| Tom: | Yeah. They were a pain in the ass to clean. Especially when I had that gigantic one that could do eight burgers. |
| Matt: | You had to clean them hot. |
| Tom: | Yeah. But you had that little scraper that would scrape all the fat down. |
| Matt: | The plastic scraper. |
| Tom: | Yep. I still have some of those in my drawer. |
| Matt: | We were like, what are these for? |
| Tom: | Yeah. Rest in peace big George. George Foreman died at 76. |
| Matt: | Wow. |
| Tom: | What else going on, Matt? |
| Matt: | Nothing. Not a whole lot. |
| Tom: | We all survived St. Patrick’s Day. |
| Matt: | We did |
| Tom: | Actually the day before, we all survived the Shakespeare thing, thank God you were out of town because Kevin and I were, I think if you’d have been here, you’d have jumped behind and helped. |
| Matt: | Probably. At least done dishes. |
| Tom: | Yeah. Kevin and I were working really well together, but holyshit was that. That’s easily the busiest I’ve ever worked at this bar. |
| Matt: | I saw pictures. It looked pretty busy. |
| Tom: | That was crazy. |
| Mark: | The sad part is, it was only a couple of $100 dollars more than average Sunday. You served lots and lots of water. |
| Tom: | Yeah, I did. I filled that water thing three times. Man, that was funny. The regulars were into it, Anthony was just enthralled. Hannah was hooting. |
| Matt: | Everyone seemed pretty excited about it. |
| Tom: | It turned out to be a lot of fun. They were great people. The actors, they came in, they moved a couple of tables with our permission. They were great. |
| Matt: | Good. |
| Tom: | I was really happy with that. |
| Mark: | It was fun. |
| Tom: | And then Kevin, in the podcast that Monday leading up to it. It was six days before. I made a real asshole-ish comment about Kevin’s mom. |
| Matt: | Yeah, you did. |
| Tom: | I profusely apologized and I deleted it from the podcast because I don’t want it in the ether at all. I feel terrible about that. |
| Matt: | What happened? |
| Tom: | What I said about Kevin’s mom two weeks ago. I want to make sure and point this out, to show how nice of a guy Kevin is, even after I said that and I apologized, he donated his tips from that Sunday to Scarlet’s College fund. |
| Matt: | Now Dan’s hooked on heroin. |
| Tom: | Yeah. Kevin, man. |
| Matt: | It was a dick comment. |
| Tom: | It was a total dick comment. I feel- |
| Matt: | Real dick comment. |
| Tom: | I feel horrible. It’s going to bother me for the rest of my life, even though I apologized and he doesn’t hold it against me. It’s going to bother me for a long time. |
| Matt: | I don’t know if Kevin knows how to hold a grudge. |
| Tom: | He may not. He’s just such a nice guy. Good job, by the way, Mark. |
| Mark: | Thank you. |
| Tom: | Raising that boy. Let’s get to weekends. Chris, are we doing anything fun? |
| Chris: | See… |
| Tom: | You want me to go to Matt and let you think about it? |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | Matt. |
| Chris: | Thank you. |
| Matt: | What did I do over the weekend? Let’s see, Friday- |
| Chris: | I know what you did. Friday you worked. |
| Matt: | I worked Friday, we were busy. Saturday, I didn’t do a whole lot. Went and had lunch and then watched basketball. And then yesterday I came up here and had a couple of drinks and a bunch of diet Colas and watched basketball. That was about it. I’m third in my bracket in our league. |
| Tom: | Wow, nice. What I see yesterday, of course there were some games that had been played since. I think there was 18 perfect brackets left out of 40 million brackets. |
| Matt: | In the universe, which I don’t know how the hell anyone could have picked McNeese State and picked Drake- |
| Tom: | By mistake. |
| Matt: | Oh, Dan would have clicked the wrong button. |
| Chris: | I did do a bracket that had all upsets. I did have one where the 16s were beating one. I did pick that for one of mine but it’s a trash. It’s trash. |
| Matt: | Yeah, because the rest of it is garbage. |
| Chris: | It’s garbage. |
| Matt: | Creon look good, UNO look good for three-fourths of the game. |
| Chris: | Yeah. The first half, they looked great. They were only down by four or something like that. |
| Matt: | I think they were down two or four at halftime. Other than that, that was my super exciting weekend. |
| Tom: | Awesome. Chris. |
| Chris: | I did. I had an eventful weekend. Friday we had our get together for the top 15 growers for mustache for kids and they took us out. |
| Tom: | I want to make sure you clarify that. |
| Chris: | Yeah. Mustache for kids growers. They did a VIP bus for us and took us all around town. That was fun. It was a good time. They spent a shit ton of money, which is cool. Saturday I had to help a friend who is in the Navy. |
| Matt: | In the Navy. |
| Chris: | In the Navy. He got re-stationed in Honolulu. |
| Matt: | Rough life. |
| Tom: | Rough. |
| Chris: | Listen, this is like- |
| Matt: | Live in Hawaii. Oh, no. |
| Chris: | Learning about what they have to do to pack up the house and everything, it’s intense. We went over there, they had a whole list. They wouldn’t have gotten through this because the trucks are coming, the moving people that, whatever military uses, they are concise and precise. They will just throw stuff in boxes. |
| Matt: | Oh yeah. They’ll pack. |
| Chris: | They’ll pack your trash. |
| Matt: | Extra cigarette butts in. |
| Chris: | They will pack your trash. This is what they have to do. They’re not going to Hawaii right away they will go to, he has a training course that him and his wife and their two daughters have to go to New Hampshire. He has to be up there for six weeks. The wife and the daughters are going to be up there for three and a half then the wife flies to California with the kids to go with their family. Then he’s going to be out there. Then they will all meet in- |
| Matt: | Jesus. |
| Chris: | It’s like this other month and a half of them not knowing and having no privacy from their kids. It’s going to be a long two months for them before they actually get settled. They don’t even have a house in Hawaii. They’re on a list. |
| Matt: | They’re probably stuck in base housing for a while. |
| Chris: | Not even that. They’re in a hotel. They’re putting up in another hotel in Hawaii until they find a house. |
| Matt: | Where’s the Elon cutting the fat on this. |
| Chris: | That’s what I did. Sunday, church, hang out, jump on trampoline, that was fun. |
| Matt: | Dangerous. |
| Tom: | I want a trampoline. |
| Chris: | You come over and- |
| Tom: | Can you imagine one of the ducks on a trampoline. |
| Chris: | Oh, it’d be hilarious. Rosie on the trampoline’s hilarious. She goes flying. That’s the funniest thing in the world. |
| Tom: | It’s been a long time since I’ve jumped on a trampoline. Do you still have the problem where if you jump for a while and then you get off, it just throws your… |
| Chris: | You try to jump off the trampoline and you’re like, oh, the ground’s not bouncy but my knees are weak, ouch. It’s fun. Launching Howie is quickly becoming quite an enjoyable venture. |
| Matt: | Just getting your frustrations out. |
| Chris: | Just launching him, but my lower back, my legs, they’re getting stronger. |
| Matt: | Probably sore. |
| Chris: | Very sore. Can’t wait for the chiropractor today. |
| Tom: | Oh my God. |
| Chris: | That was it. |
| Tom: | Friday Sarah and I were watching season two of House of Dragons, the prequel Game of Thrones. We sat and watched that and did some work around the house. Saturday, I got to get out to a racetrack for the first time this year. We went to Beatrice Speedway for the Spring Nationals. Amazing freaking racing. A new friend of mine who helps us out at the racetrack brought his 12-year-old daughter. She was bored because she’s really not into it so I started taunting her and betting on each race with her. Can anybody guess the results? |
| Matt: | I’m guessing you lost a bunch. |
| Tom: | She kicked my ass. Her theory and philosophy was when they pulled out and started lining up for the race, she picked the prettiest car. If it had pink in it or a lot of pink, it got picked. Her favorite color’s green, that was her favorite colors. My strategy was, this guy’s a really good racer. Let’s pick him. |
| Matt: | That never works. |
| Tom: | That didn’t work at all. I got my ass kicked. We had a great time. It was a lot of fun. |
| Matt: | Just remember Drake, that’s all you got to remember. Drake. |
| Tom: | The singer Drake? |
| Matt: | No, the basketball team. |
| Tom: | The basketball team. |
| Chris: | I wish race car drivers would name their cars much like horses have names. I think that would be so much better on the betting. |
| Matt: | Speedy exhaust piece. |
| Chris: | I was watching Tacoma FD this weekend, he’s like, I just bet on their names. I just bet on the names. If it’s a good name, they’re going to win. I think you should try to put that out in the Carvers. |
| Tom: | That’s a good idea. There are a couple that name their chassis because they’ve got two or three chassis, so they’ll keep track of what chassis have what wins and that kind of stuff. |
| Chris: | Chelsea chassis one. |
| Tom: | Betty. Betsy. |
| Matt: | Betty. |
| Chris: | Betsy. |
| Matt: | Betsy. Interesting. |
| Chris: | I think that should be part of a line of questioning that, if you guys could name your car, what would you name it? |
| Tom: | That’s a good- |
| Matt: | It’s a fun question. |
| Chris: | Dale Earnhardt’s driving. |
| Mark: | He’s the dead one, right? |
| Tom: | Yes. |
| Matt: | Yeah. Senior. |
| Chris: | Grave Digger. It’s already been used but [inaudible 00:13:09]. |
| Tom: | Wall smasher. |
| Chris: | Wall. |
| Tom: | It was not good at its job. |
| Chris: | This is a wall. |
| Matt: | His car is named, I out of socket. |
| Tom: | This is all stuff that nearly blind James. He’s just going to be turning over as he’s listening. |
| Chris: | He’s going to be laughing really hard. |
| Matt: | Is he a Dale fan? |
| Tom: | Oh yeah. Oh my God. Raise Hell, Praise Dale is his life motto. |
| Matt: | Jesus. |
| Chris: | I love it. I love it. I love it. |
| Tom: | Right about now, in him listening to the podcast, I’ll be getting a text message on Wednesday of his second life motto, which I can’t remember right now but it has to do with Bubba Wallace. |
| Matt: | Oh God. |
| Tom: | And nothing to do with the noose. |
| Matt: | Oh wow. |
| Tom: | Sunday I worked at the pub. Sunday night I just, God, I woke up Sunday morning. I literally woke up and I was exhausted. I don’t know what I did in my sleep Saturday night to Sunday morning, pretty sure I didn’t have sex. |
| Matt: | Sarah was beating you with a- |
| Tom: | That’s possible |
| Matt: | Piece of soap and a sock. |
| Tom: | It feels like I was moving logs again in my backyard with the tree man down. |
| Matt: | Did that this morning. |
| Tom: | I was physically exhausted and then, working all Sunday at the pub, I had no motivation. |
| Matt: | You were busy yesterday. |
| Tom: | It was good. It was a good day. It was a fun day. That was my weekend. Do you want to talk about your weekend, Mark? You’re kind of fussy when I ask you about it. |
| Mark: | Nothing exciting. |
| Matt: | I want to hear about the pedicure. |
| Chris: | Did you get a pedicure? |
| Mark: | Yes. |
| Chris: | They’re all right. |
| Tom: | I refuse to go and get one for a long time. Sarah got us pedicures for our anniversary one year and I want to go back and get another one. My feet felt so good for couple of days after that. How was it? |
| Mark: | All right. |
| Tom: | Was it awkward? |
| Mark: | Well, considering it was Randy. Sorry. |
| Tom: | What? Did he suck on your toe or? |
| Mark: | Not quite. It was fine. |
| Tom: | Did your feet feel good afterwards? |
| Mark: | Yeah. Due to my physical characteristics because at this point it’s very hard for me to trim my toenails. It was hard to put socks on. |
| Matt: | Nice trim toenails. Little foot massage. |
| Chris: | Doesn’t look like you’re sitting up in a tree anymore with your claws. |
| Matt: | Part eagle. |
| Chris: | Give me that whiskey. Sorry, nobody saw that. I mimicked it. |
| Matt: | Just swooping down campground, stealing bottles. |
| Chris: | Stealing my whiskey bottles. That’s it. That’s all I got. |
| Mark: | Considering the fact that Wendi was zero. |
| Tom: | Oh my God. |
| Chris: | It snowed eight inches and it was gone by Thursday afternoon. |
| Tom: | One of my favorite dad jokes was I’d be in the middle of summer and I’d be leaving the house to go to the pool or whatever. He’d say, don’t forget your stocking cap. You never know when the Alberta clipper is going to come through. I have no idea what the hell the Alberta Clipper was, but I’m pretty fucking sure it came through the Midwest on Wednesday morning. Because we went from 80 degrees on Tuesday to 25 to 30 Wednesday morning, blizzard and snow conditions. |
| Matt: | Hard heavy snow. |
| Chris: | 60 mile an hour winds. |
| Mark: | Did you note how dirty the first two inches of snow was? |
| Tom: | We all know why. |
| Mark: | It was brown. |
| Tom: | We all know why. |
| Matt: | I was told a couple different things. |
| Chris: | Texas |
| Tom: | Bill Randy said it was the dust storms from New Mexico and Texas. The low front that brought that storm into us, sucked all of that dust up North and got collect. It was in the air when the snow started falling. |
| Matt: | That is what I heard. |
| Tom: | That blows my mind, that that’s a thing. |
| Chris: | Blows dust too. |
| Mark: | We had a decent week even losing Wednesday. |
| Tom: | A lot of Omaha was without power because of power lines being down. It was fascinating for me. I drove out Thursday out to Dodge Nebraska, which is North of Fremont. You get up to the Fremont area and then up North of it. I have never seen more power poles snapped in half. |
| Matt: | It was said they were somewhere around 125 to 150. They were either down or broken. |
| Tom: | Yeah. And then the power lines that were running North and South were just, I bet they were covered in four or five inches of ice and drooping just because of the weight. |
| Matt: | The wind was nuts. |
| Tom: | The wind was oddly enough, looked by the way that the snow was laid up, was out of the West going East. All the power lines that were going against that all had snow collected on them, ice on collecting. All those linemen that came up through the week and weekend, I think are still here trying to get power restored to people around the area. |
| Matt: | I think they’ve got. |
| Mark: | Kevin, Matt and I were sitting here on- |
| Matt: | Wednesday. |
| Mark: | Wednesday morning, everything fine, suddenly flies fucker fucker out, gone. |
| Matt: | Till 7:00 or 8:00 o’clock that night. |
| Tom: | It was a crazy storm. Just one of those times where I was like, oh, father Brian. |
| Matt: | It was just weird, just weird. |
Auchentoshan – American Oak
| Tom: | I don’t have anything else. Do you guys want to drink? |
| Chris: | Let’s do it. |
| Tom: | I’m ready to drink. |
| Matt: | Mark, which did you want to do first? |
| Mark: | Either. I’ll let the Auchentoshan. Auchentoshan is one of the few lowland distilleries. Let’s drink it before I tell you how much it cost. |
| Chris: | Thank you. |
| Matt: | You’re welcome. |
| Chris: | This wizard definitely had some German influence in him, Auchentoshan. |
| Matt: | He’s definitely a spitter when he talks. |
| Mark: | Yes. |
| Tom: | I can’t not picture Brian Cox sitting in a chair in a nice smoking jacket pronouncing that. |
| Matt: | Auchentoshan, hit’s like a death charge. Auchentoshan, rich notes of Heather Bush. |
| Chris: | It’s very, very fruity on the road. |
| Tom: | Is this a new offering or is this something that they’re… |
| Mark: | This is their everyday entry level booze age exclusively in bourbon and barrels. |
| Matt: | It is a 40%. |
| Chris: | How long is Asian American Oak does it stay? Wow. |
| Tom: | It doesn’t feel like- |
| Chris: | I don’t feel like- |
| Tom: | I’m not getting a lot of cherry or oak. |
| Matt: | I get a ton of fruit. |
| Chris: | I get a ton of fruit. I don’t get that vanilla or caramel that you would get from maybe an American Oak, but it’s probably first fill. |
| Matt: | It’s probably. A first fill would be my guess. |
| Chris: | Vanilla with coconut is what it says on there. I don’t know if I got any of that. |
| Mark: | Honey, nuts, cheerios. |
| Tom: | Oh, did you say that say first fill? |
| Mark: | I don’t know. |
| Tom: | Because it does. First fill bourbon casks. |
| Chris: | That’s really nice. |
| Matt: | That is. |
| Tom: | Every single drop. |
| Matt: | Surprisingly easy to drink. |
| Chris: | I feel like you’re going to tell me that this is very inexpensive. |
| Mark: | It’s $8 more than Jack Daniels. |
| Matt: | It’s about a $45 bottle. |
| Chris: | What? |
| Mark: | 35 to 45, depending where you buy it. |
| Chris: | Was that an eight, $9, $10 pour here? |
| Matt: | I’m guessing we charge nine or 10 for it. |
| Chris: | Awesome. |
| Matt: | I don’t know. There’s no sticker on the bottle. Look at me. |
| Tom: | Matt. |
| Matt: | Shit that comes in on Friday’s not my responsibility. I have two people that look at it before I get here. I’m in charge of Thursday stuff. |
| Chris: | I can’t imagine. This is too much time on the oak. I just don’t get that heavy vanilla. |
| Matt: | I don’t get a whole lot of vanilla. I don’t get a whole lot of wood. It’s good though. |
| Chris: | It’s really good. This is… |
| Matt: | This is a Suntory product or Jim Beam. |
| Chris: | That was a good one. |
| Matt: | Easy drinker. |
| Mark: | For the price, I mean, that’s dumb cheap. |
| Tom: | Yeah. I really like it. Don’t tell them that because then they’ll jack up the price. |
| Matt: | It’ll be $90 before you know it. |
| Mark: | Well, when the tariffs come in. |
| Tom: | And then the retaliatory tariffs. |
| Mark: | And then the fuck you tariffs. I’m not a very bright guy. |
| Tom: | That’s not true. |
| Mark: | I sound even stupider, but let me get this straight. We’re going to charge Canada an extra 25% to send their shit to the United Cities. So the people in the United States are simply going to raise their price at 20- |
| Tom: | Hold on, here’s your flaw. You’re thinking past that. It’s just going to make America so rich. |
| Mark: | Yeah, on my back, I’m on just paying for it. |
| Matt: | It’s America making America money. |
| Tom: | That doesn’t matter. It’s going to make us so rich. |
| Matt: | Huge |
| Tom: | Rich. I mean, I’m not trying to make fun of anybody that is quote from the guy that’s doing all of this. It is going to make us so rich. |
| Matt: | Can’t wait for my check to come in. It’s great. |
| Tom: | Your check’s going to be great. It’s just not going to go very far. |
| Matt: | No. |
| Mark: | And then if we’re trying to cut the deficit, save money, why are we sending checks to people? Why don’t we send that to the deficit? |
| Matt: | Because it makes too much sense. |
| Tom: | Stop asking smart questions. |
| Mark: | Yeah. One of the frustrating things about what’s happening to me is, I know I sound like a dimwit but it makes no fucking sense. |
| Tom: | No, you don’t have a Southern accent. |
| Matt: | Oh wow. |
| Tom: | Dang. |
| Matt: | Jesus. |
| Chris: | You don’t watch NASCAR. |
| Tom: | Oh, I do. |
| Matt: | Wow. |
| Tom: | I do. |
| Mark: | My brother went through medical school on the Army plan. He did his residency in Fort Benning, Georgia. He said, Mark, I know what the Mason Dixon line is. That is the line demarcation where the IQ drops 25%. |
| Matt: | Wow. Jesus. That’s weird since my son almost got a perfect score on the ACT, he lives in Missi fucking ssippi. |
| Tom: | Missi fucking ssippi. |
| Mark: | He’s got Nebraska genes. |
| Matt: | A little bit, not much. He doesn’t get his smarts from me, I’ll tell you that much. |
| Mark: | You’re not stupid either. |
| Chris: | Both you guys. |
| Mark: | I was down there visiting him one time and the babysitter showed up who was the daughter of a friend of my brother’s and they asked her, what’s your mom dad doing? Well, they’re fixing to get ready to go. I understand getting ready to go. I understand fixing to go, but does fixing to get ready mean you’re sitting in your underwear on the bed going, hmm. |
| Matt: | That’s the same thing as us going, God, I should probably start getting ready to go, when you’re sitting there watching the clock. You’re like, I’ve got an hour. They do talk funny down there. |
| Tom: | Top 10 annoying Southern habits. Top 10 list coming to a podcast near you. |
| Matt: | I could probably fill that one out. |
| Tom: | Oh my God. |
| Mark: | What are the last words of 35% of the men in the South? |
| Tom: | I don’t know. |
| Mark: | Hold my beer or watch this. |
| Matt: | I have heard that a few times down there, and it usually ends really badly. |
Arran Malt
| Tom: | All right, next one. |
| Mark: | Arran Malt. |
| Matt: | Let me smell Malt. |
| Mark: | Port finish. It’s not very good. |
| Tom: | All right. All right. Smells great. |
| Matt: | I think it’s fantastic. |
| Mark: | The pal is a little assaultive. |
| Tom: | Have we had this before? |
| Mark: | No. We’ve had Arran Malts and they make some real good whiskey. This is not one of them, in my opinion. |
| Chris: | Did you say salt? |
| Matt: | Oh, salted. |
| Chris: | Oh, salted. Okay. |
| Tom: | All right. |
| Chris: | Because you said salt and I’m like, all right, taste salt now. Thanks for that. |
| Mark: | It’s more assertive than it should be. |
| Matt: | It’s kind of cough droppy. |
| Mark: | Yeah, medicinal. |
| Matt: | Kind of Chloraseptic. |
| Mark: | Come into the Library Pub and buy a pour. |
| Matt: | Now, I think last time we had this, we all really liked it. That must be one of those fun little nuances from bottle to bottle. |
| Tom: | I don’t mind it. |
| Chris: | I don’t mind it either. |
| Tom: | I would not categorize this as bad by any means. |
| Chris: | I would have to start with this. |
| Mark: | The nose is very pleasant. |
| Chris: | It’s gorgeous. |
| Mark: | The nose is great but that punch on the palate. |
| Chris: | Yeah. The medicinal Chloraseptic, I don’t know, medicine. |
| Matt: | Yeah, it’s like the throat spray. |
| Mark: | Notice, I did finish mine though. |
| Chris: | In the bottle is like, I don’t know, there’s a pinkish hue to it. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just- |
| Matt: | Probably the port. |
| Chris: | Yep. Mark changed his mind. |
| Mark: | That’s worse than I thought it was on the second sip. |
| Chris: | It’s really sweet to start out and then it just, that aftertaste is going to stay with us. |
| Mark: | Yes. |
| Matt: | Good thing we didn’t do it first. I don’t hate it but the cough dropping is a turnoff. |
| Chris: | I would rather that sweetness stays around and not that. |
| Matt: | Turn into medicine? |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Matt: | Yeah. It’s not great |
| Tom: | By the way, I can’t imagine anybody can hear it. But for some reason the drain is glugging a lot. |
| Matt: | Interesting. |
| Tom: | Now Chris is glugging |
| Matt: | Something like that. I’ve heard him glug before. It’s usually in private. I don’t hate it but that definitely wouldn’t be a top 10 for me. |
| Mark: | Well, considering it’s $30 a bottle more than first one and the first one was way better. |
| Matt: | Chappy. |
| John Chapman: | Hey. |
| Tom: | Hello. |
| John Chapman: | Should I come back? |
| Matt: | No, you’re fine. What do you guys want to do next? This fun little Dixon Dedman man bottle. |
| Chris: | Yeah, let’s- |
| Tom: | I would actually like to do mine first, because I think the 2XO is going to overpower it. |
| Chris: | What’s yours? The 2XO? |
| Tom: | It’s special. No, I did end up bringing it though because I got a bottle this weekend, but I have a different one. |
| Chris: | Okay, let’s do yours. |
| Tom: | Okay, I’ll be right back. |
| Chris: | Yours is your, I know what it is. |
| Matt: | Stall, we’re stalling. This is a stalling. |
| Chris: | Would you like a beverage? |
| John Chapman: | Yes, perfect. |
| Chris: | Okay. |
| Mark: | Okay folks up there, a gentleman just walked in named John Chapman who is very, very nice guy. Completely decked out in San Diego Padre crap. |
| John Chapman: | Which is the reason why I’m not letting you see it. |
| Mark: | Chappy, on air a 100 bucks on the season series within the Padre and Dodge. |
| John Chapman: | How about your fifth? |
| Mark: | Done. |
| John Chapman: | All right. |
| Chris: | This is your infinity, isn’t it? 100% is your infinity. |
| Tom: | It is a 100% not my Infinity. |
| Matt: | It’s very light. |
| Tom: | Yeah. Give me just a second to get prepared again. |
| Matt: | One. Okay, let’s go. |
| Tom: | Chris is going to laugh. |
| Matt: | I’m really as to what this is going to be. |
Zackariah Harris
| Tom: | Okay. Zackariah Harris. |
| Matt: | Who’s that? |
| Mark: | I picked this glass up and I looked at it and thought this is going to be horrible. I took a sip, it is not horrible. It’s actually really good. |
| Matt: | It’s very cherry. |
| Tom: | This is falling right in the same category with every other thing that Sazerac puts out. It is good for its price range and it is an $11 bottle of bourbon. |
| Matt: | Oh, for shit’s sake. Really? |
| Mark: | I would take a case of that home. |
| Matt: | I wouldn’t take it home because I don’t have anywhere to put it right now, but I would definitely buy a bottle of this. |
| Chris: | When did we get this? |
| Tom: | A couple of weeks ago. You got to find it under Harris. |
| Mark: | No, you can type Zach. |
| Tom: | Oh you can? |
| Mark: | Yep. |
| Tom: | First off, what’s this look like? |
| Matt: | It’s like a bad Jack Daniels knockoff. |
| Tom: | Yeah, that’s what they’re trying to do, is they’re stealing. They basically just took the design off the Jack Daniels. |
| Mark: | It’s way better than Jack. |
| Tom: | And a hell a lot cheaper. |
| Matt: | Than the Jack Black definitely. |
| Tom: | I thought about this this morning. |
| Mark: | Glen Moray Distillery? |
| Tom: | Yeah. I’ll get into that. When I was talking to another person about this today. For you specifically, Mark, this would be really good in that barrel. |
| Mark: | Better than barrel. |
| Matt: | It’s almost too flavorful for the barrel. |
| Tom: | You think so? |
| Matt: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | See, I thought maybe in month- |
| Matt: | Perfect for your well. |
| Tom: | Aging it for a month in the barrel would add a lot of characteristics to it. I had to do a bunch of searching for this because I’m like, well, how is this a Kentucky straight bourbon if it’s coming out of the Glen Moray Distillery. There’s Glen Moray, which is another Sazerac product which comes out of Scotland. |
| Mark: | M-O-R-A-Y. |
| Tom: | Correct. This is Glenmore, which is G-L-E-N-M-O-R-E, all one word. Glenmore is another bourbon. I think it’s a single Malt. I had to do a bunch of research because I kept confusing Glen Moray and Glenmore, but- |
| Chris: | Is it new from them or is it just something? |
| Tom: | Yeah. |
| Chris: | Okay. |
| Tom: | Yeah, this is all new. Let me look back in my email of when we got it. |
| Matt: | It’s a 40/80. It’s made in Kentucky where bourbon is an art form and where generations respect the hard work and time honored traditions that make it America’s most treasured spirit, rich, smooth and delicious. |
| Tom: | Most treasured spirit. |
| Matt: | Zachariah Harris is a classic Kentucky bourbon that’s not been around very long. |
| Tom: | For all of you Tom fans out there, it does have the phone number on the Necker. |
| Matt: | Does it really? |
| Tom: | The 1800 number to call us, give us your opinion. |
| Matt: | Aged at least 36 months. |
| Mark: | We should call just to tell them it’s good. |
| Chris: | You want a case? |
| Mark: | No. |
| Chris: | You said you wanted a case for your house. You do want a bottle or two. |
| Tom: | It’s going to help you with your allocations. Buy a whole case of it. I mean, put it in the barrel. |
| Mark: | I don’t know where we’re at with the barrel. It’s less than very old Barton’s. |
| Chris: | You’re trying to make me not make less commission, man. |
| Tom: | I’m sorry, man. You know what? Here, I’ve got a dollar in my pocket. I’ll reimburse you- |
| Matt: | This is really good. |
| Tom: | Which actually might be an over reimbursement. |
| Matt: | Surprisingly good. |
| Tom: | I think- |
| Mark: | That is really good for cheap as barrel. |
| Tom: | Well, it’s the same price as VOB, isn’t it? VOB is 10. |
| Chris: | Cheaper. VOB is 1125. |
| Tom: | Okay, it’s about a buck less. |
| Matt: | Interesting. |
| Chris: | I’m going to put a sample request for that right now. |
| Tom: | If you would switch between the two, one month order of VOB, one month order this, you’ll rise in the rankings. |
| Chris: | It’s true. |
| Mark: | Okay. Give me a case fucker. |
| Matt: | I can’t get over how good that is. I thought you couldn’t get anything good for 20 bucks. |
| Chris: | My mouth is watery. |
| Tom: | Not wine |
| Chris: | For that. |
| Mark: | Okay Tom. |
| Tom: | Not wine. |
| Matt: | Which now that $20 bottle of wine is going to be a $50 bottle of wine. |
| Tom: | I should ask him if that once $8 bottle of wine, now $20 bottle of wine is worth it now. |
| Matt: | Does that change now? |
| Tom: | Yeah, it’s got to be good. |
| Matt: | Either that or he’s got to change his motto. |
| Tom: | Did I take that out? I left that in there, right? |
| Matt: | I think so. |
| Tom: | I left that in there. All right, that is Zachariah Harris. I can’t even say it’s going to be available around because it hit the market February 27th. It’s been out for a couple of weeks. I had a bottle at home. I’ve got it out to a couple of places. |
| Chris: | 16 cases in stock, no 175s. Did we have 175s of it or was it already out? |
| Tom: | It’s just in the system in anticipation. |
| Mark: | That is built for grips, at that price. |
| Tom: | I had one of my best bars that brings in everything Sazerac, just to help with her allocations. I brought her this and she said her objection, which was the first time I’ve ever gotten this objection. I’m sure Chris has gotten it before. Is that where her well bourbon would go, is right below on her Double Stack Speedwell, is right below her Jack Daniels. She’s afraid that the bartenders are going to confuse the two. |
| Chris: | Well, it’s a smaller bottle because it’s a 750. |
| Tom: | Anyways, just one of those things that in the world of sales, every once in a while no matter how long you do it, you’re like, well, that’s a new objection. I literally turned around and said, can you give me an hour and I’ll come up with an answer to that. |
| Matt: | Which it makes sense. It really does. |
| Tom: | It does. |
| Matt: | Some bartenders are not smart. |
| Mark: | Some bartenders are morons. |
| Tom: | Any of us bartenders know that you don’t reach for a well based on the look of the bottle. |
| Chris: | Sometimes you do. |
| Tom: | It’s where it’s at. Like I just know that tequila is the third bottle down, here. If I go somewhere else to bartend, I’m throwing off for a couple of hours. I get it, but anyways. Zachariah Harris and yes, James, I’ll get you a bottle. Oh, he’s also asking if you guys could please ask your Rebel rep. Rebel put out a special bourbon. It’s called Rebel 108. It was a Kyle Busch sponsored bourbon. |
| Matt: | I have never heard of it. |
2XO – Vinyl
| Tom: | It’s brand new. They were promoting it on the internet when he had his Rebel 108 car. Him and I would both like a bottle or two if we could. Anyways, moving on, 2XO. |
| Matt: | 2XO from Dixon Dedman. |
| Chris: | Yeah. This is probably the- |
| Mark: | Isn’t that Oprah’s boyfriend? |
| Matt: | I don’t think so. |
| Tom: | Isn’t that who? |
| Mark: | Oprah’s boyfriend? |
| Matt: | No, that’s Steadman. |
| Tom: | That’s Steadman. |
| Mark: | Oh, okay. Sorry. I was confused. |
| Tom: | I’d be really surprised this guy was dating Oprah. |
| Chris: | No, no. |
| Tom: | Especially since he’s married and his kids. |
| Chris: | Yeah. This is part of the icon series for Dixon Edmond, is his claim. They have their regular ones, the French Oak, the American Oak, which is pretty solid. But the Icon series is something that he is one and done. It’s his process of making a Library category. A Library like he has the Innkeeper’s blend. He has the Kiowa blend. He has all these different blends, Diamond. You won’t get this anymore basically. What he’s looking to do, and this is just being pure honest, is that he wants to be able to have something like an EH Taylor lineup, but you can’t get them anymore. |
| Tom: | Like Barrel? |
| Chris: | Yeah. Like Barrel. Mark was pointing up at all of his barrel bottles. |
| Matt: | There’s so many. |
| Chris: | There’s so many of them but they’re all really great. |
| Tom: | With this being a part of the Tribute blend. It’s basically a similar blend. This is Tribute I think or is it Icon? |
| Chris: | This is an icon series. This is not coming back. |
| Tom: | It’s Icon? |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | Okay. |
| Chris: | Anything that has the Sneaker or Vinyl, anything named like that is part of the Icon series. |
| Tom: | Oh, the Tribute is the highest one. There is a third tier and then Jam in Kentucky’s the fourth. |
| Matt: | Phoenix, Innkeepers, Tribute, Kiowa, Sneakerhead and Vinyl. |
| Chris: | All of those are the Icon series. |
| Tom: | Yes. They have nothing to do with what they’re paying Tribute to or Icon to, it’s just that’s the blend and he wanted to pay Tribute to- |
| Matt: | Other than the- |
| Tom: | The Vinyl. |
| Matt: | Picture on the label. |
| Chris: | He collects Vinyls. I mean, he collects shoes that was the Sneakerhead. It’s stuff that he really likes and that would pop on the bar. It would be super cool to have his series up to this point. This is what I like telling people, especially buyers, if they’re going to get behind this brand, then get at least two bottles of it because it’s going to be gone and you’re never going to be able to get it again. And then eventually, if it really pops, which Dixon Edmond is getting amazing. |
| Matt: | Well, he is putting out much better product than when he started with 2XO. When he was still with Kentucky Owl, everything he put out was good. |
| Tom: | Oddly, a little bit of connection to this. I have been drinking the living shit out of Wisemans lately. |
| Chris: | That’s good. |
| Tom: | The inexpensive Kentucky Owl line. It is so fucking good. |
| Matt: | Yeah. That’s all their entry level stuff. It is definitely worth drinking for the price. Lots of coconut. |
| Chris: | Holy buckets. |
| Matt: | Lots of coconut. |
| Tom: | Fuck, I think I lost track of where it’s at. |
| Chris: | That’s Marks. I just gave it to you. |
| Tom: | Of the 2XO? |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Matt: | Tons of coconut. See, I’m not a big coconut fan. I don’t know if I’ll like this. |
| Chris: | I would’ve never guessed that on the nose. The nose is a little bit subdued compared to- |
| Matt: | I’m assuming. |
| Chris: | Yeah. Subdued for me and then when you taste it in the mouth, there’s a ton going on. There’s a ton going on. |
| Matt: | I don’t get any of that flavor off the nose. Anything that I tasted, none of it off the nose. |
| Chris: | And it’s thick. |
| Matt: | Thank you. |
| Chris: | You’re welcome. Retail what? You’re going to pay- |
| Tom: | Oh, probably 99. |
| Matt: | I would guess right around a 100 bucks. I think that’s what the majority the other ones are. |
| Tom: | I thought I saw that’s what suggested retail price was in the pamphlet we got. 99 probably. |
| Matt: | It’s weird. |
| Tom: | It’s good. |
| Matt: | I don’t hate it but I don’t love it. It’s weird. One, I’m not used to coconut. |
| Chris: | Right. |
| Tom: | How the fuck do you get coconut? |
| Chris: | I got coconut but I’m not getting it now. |
| Tom: | Excuse me. Let me back up. I’m not asking how you guys get coconut because they do, but- |
| Matt: | How do you make it. |
| Tom: | How do you put coconut into your blend? |
| Matt: | Yeah, that first drink, about all I got was coconut. It was really strong. |
| Chris: | It’s really good for me now. That’s good. I mean, kudos to him man. I like that he’s trying to do this. |
| Matt: | I don’t know if I’d pay a 100 bucks for this bottle, other than the fact that it’s rare. |
| Chris: | Right. That’s it. It’s rare. Can you imagine seeing on someone’s back baring on them a bottle of the Phoenix Innkeeper’s, Tribute, Kiowa, Sneakerhead and then this. How many more are they going to, he’s going to come out with two every year. |
| Matt: | He’ll just keep going. This is okay. |
| Chris: | 2XO is growing on me. I like that people are getting past the XO part of it because that was huge for them when they started. Everybody thought it was a brandy or cognac. |
| Matt: | Well, a lot of people don’t know what it stands for, everything’s double aged. It’s two times oak. Jinx. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven ounce gets, you owe me a coke. |
| Tom: | No, damn. When are you going to pay up son? |
| Chris: | When I go to the grocery store. |
| Matt: | When he goes to the coke store. |
| Chris: | When I go to the coke store. There’s this done. It’s 2XO. |
| Matt: | It’s very different. |
| Chris: | It’s very flavorful. |
| Matt: | It is very- |
| Chris: | Very flavorful. |
| Matt: | And it’s different flavors. |
| Chris: | This might be good on- |
| Matt: | Ice cream? |
| Chris: | Cigar and ice cream, but a cigar would probably go really well with this. |
| Matt: | Could be. I like scotch when I smoke cigars. |
| Chris: | That coat’s the freaking world. |
| Mark: | The world is getting weirder and weirder. |
| Tom: | What happened now? |
| Mark: | Tiger Woods is dating Donald Trump’s. |
| Chris: | Yeah, Ivanka or whatever. Ivana? |
| Mark: | Vanessa, ex-daughter-in-law. |
| Matt: | Oh okay. I thought for a second you were going to say ex-wife. |
| Chris: | Didn’t he blow out his something practicing at home? |
| Mark: | He is hurt right now. |
| Chris: | Blow out his Achilles or something like that. |
| Mark: | Something like that. |
| Chris: | How do you blow your Achilles practicing at home? He must snap his knee so hard back that- |
| Mark: | He hits the shit out of the ball, even for an old guy. |
| Chris: | He really is old. Who’s going to tell him that he’s bald? My God, just shave your head dude. |
| Matt: | He’s a hell of a golfer. Have you watched any of the indoor? |
| Chris: | I love it, dude. |
| Matt: | It’s so much fun to watch. |
| Chris: | It’s so much fun. Hearing those guys talk to each other, you don’t hear that. |
| Matt: | They’re just having fun. |
| Mark: | Matt, we need another drink. |
| Tom: | We do. I definitely need to solve this top 10 list because by the way, searching for this is far harder than I expected. |
The Yamazaki – 12 Years
| Matt: | Well, what do we want to do? Do we want scotch or bourbon or Asian? |
| Mark: | Let’s do the Yamazaki 12 getting Chap to go away. |
| Tom: | Hey Kev, I might need your help, if you got a minute. Come around to this side and read what I’m working on because, yeah, I know that there is far more, there’s far more than I’m finding here. Google searches are really sucking. None of these are any good. This is the fifth list I’ve been on. Usually they’re pretty good. All right, Matt. What are we trying now? |
| Matt: | This is the Yamazaki 12 year, which we have not had a bottle of this in a while. |
| Mark: | This is on a Tanium. |
| Chris: | Yeah, this is… |
| Mark: | The only way I got it was the head of all sail for Sterling or Stone Glazer came in and I beat him up. He said, I’ll give you a bottle of this and then next day I had a bottle of this. |
| Chris: | If you’re going to do a gif of this, it’s Homer drilling. |
| Tom: | I think I just messed my pants. |
| Chris: | Yeah, I can smell. |
| Matt: | Gross. |
| Tom: | I’m not, I mean, it’s going to turn crusty and hard here a little bit but. |
| Matt: | Gross. |
| Tom: | That is fucking awesome. |
| Chris: | Scrape your butt cheeks. |
| Tom: | Jesus. |
| Matt: | Which is the last bottle we had? We had one. |
| Tom: | Drink it. |
| Matt: | Woman that came in and drank pretty much the whole bottle. |
| Chris: | Oh really? I don’t even want to drink it. I mean, I’m going to but I don’t want to. Smells so good. Thank you for this. It’s been a long time since I have had this. |
| Matt: | It’s a nice easy drink, 43%, 86 proof. |
| Mark: | There’s Distiller in Japan, if you believe that shit. |
| Chris: | Are they? They’re the one. This is the one that people sought after. Yamazaki is the one that, for Japanese whiskey is like, yo, do you have any Yamazaki, right? That’s- |
| Matt: | Yes. Which they used to do a 17 year. |
| Mark: | It was really good. |
| Matt: | That makes this taste like swill. |
| Chris: | What’s in market now? You guys know? |
| Mark: | Nothing. |
| Chris: | Nothing. This is the only one that you could possibly even get if it’s available. There isn’t any other age statements? |
| Matt: | No. Nope. This is just easy. The problem is to get a bottle of this, you have to go secondary and you’re going to pay out the ass for it. |
| Tom: | Or you have to convince the head of the distribution company to give it to you. |
| Matt: | I’m surprised they even had one to give. This could make for a very expensive day. |
| Mark: | That is really, really good. |
| Matt: | Oh, scary. Easy to drink. |
| Tom: | Sorry. This list is, it’s just making me laugh. |
| Mark: | The finish very long and very nice. |
| Tom: | It is. There’s just so much to say about this bottle. This is everything that we want whiskey to be more often. |
| Matt: | It’s just so mild. There’s no heat to it. |
| Mark: | It’s mild but with a lot of flavor. |
| Matt: | And it’s different flavor. This isn’t what you get out of most Asian whiskeys. I also think to find a 12-year-old Asian whiskey is tough right now. This is just silly good. |
| Tom: | Yeah, we’re running out of things to talk. |
| Matt: | Well, we’re just enjoying this one so much. |
| Tom: | Chris is on a phone call. I’m doing some research. You guys are different. |
| Matt: | I’m just enjoying this whiskey. |
| Tom: | How much? |
| Matt: | We are charging 25 an ounce for it. |
| Tom: | That’s totally reasonable. |
| Matt: | Well, when it’s- |
| Tom: | I drink that all day |
| Matt: | When it’s a 100% unavailable, you pay what you got to pay. This is a bottle I’ve actually seen on the shelf a couple of times in my life, surprisingly enough, once in Indiana and once in Kansas City, Missouri and I bought them both. Oh, it’s the Jukebox Commercials. |
| Tom: | Fuck the Jukebox. |
| Matt: | It kicks on once an hour and it’s- |
| Tom: | Oh yeah, I remember you telling me one night that it scared the shit out of you in your clothes. |
| Matt: | How about my pants. |
| Tom: | All right. I think I got a list together. |
| Matt: | All right. Here we go. |
| Tom: | It’s absolutely not complete, because I really do think you can’t complete this list. But I just want to say these are the 13 that I think are the best, I came up with. We’re going to rank them. They’re by no means a complete list because you can’t. Top 10 comedy movie one-liners. |
| Matt: | Oh shit. That could be an infinite number. |
| Tom: | Yes. By the way- |
| Matt: | Scott, Scotch, Scotch. |
| Tom: | For the first time in my life, Google fucking sucks, because I searched top 10 comedy movie one-liners and stuff from, that was the one. There was a quote from Godfather that came up, which is funny, but it’s not a comedy movie. Anyways. |
| Chris: | All right, let’s start. I’m not dead yet. I’m not dead yet. |
| Tom: | I’m going to start off, part of the fun of it is that, those of you that haven’t been listening or are new to the podcast, we have two generations. I create the list. I just influence and make arguments but I don’t rank. Matt and Chris are in one generation and Mark’s in another. I think that adds a little bit of variety to it because- |
| Matt: | But they’re also overlapping generations. |
| Tom: | They are. |
| Chris: | If you want to sponsor segments, just reach out to Dan. |
| Tom: | Yeah, we’ll definitely take your money. I’m going to start off with- |
| Matt: | Sorry, I was reaching out. |
| Tom: | All righty then. |
| Matt: | Oh wow. Little Pet Detective. |
| Tom: | Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. |
| Chris: | Low for me. Only because there’s so many others from that. |
| Tom: | There’s a lot. |
| Chris: | There’s so many others. |
| Tom: | I really could have gone with, Ace, you got any more of that gum? Dan, I’d appreciate if you’d stay out of my personal life. |
| Matt: | There’s a lot. |
| Chris: | Do you have any Binaca? |
| Tom: | My favorite one is the beginning, which I- |
| Chris: | Ask you a few questions. |
| Tom: | I totally forgot about is when he finds the chicks. It’s the opening skit. He finds the lady’s dog and she goes down and gives him a blow chop and he grabs the rafters and he’s- |
| Matt: | Swinging around. |
| Tom: | Back and forth like a monkey. He goes, oh God. People sure are friendly around here. |
| Chris: | I need to watch that stupid movie again. It’s so good. So good. |
| Matt: | All of his movies are just full of funny. |
| Chris: | He is a national treasure. |
| Tom: | For Canada, which now we’re going to have to pay 25. |
| Chris: | No, we didn’t know. They’re going to be 50 for State. |
| Mark: | But he’s an American citizen now. It’s going to be gay North Dakota. |
| Tom: | Alrighty then, Ace Ventura. |
| Matt: | I’d put that up maybe eight. |
| Chris: | Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking towards the bottom because now, it did get a lot of people saying, oh right then, which I want to freaking do when I stab you when you say that. Eight is good. |
| Tom: | Mark. |
| Mark: | I never saw the movie. |
| Tom: | You never saw Pet Tech. |
| Matt: | Oh my goodness. |
| Tom: | Mark’s not into that. |
| Matt: | Mark doesn’t like. |
| Tom: | Yeah, he doesn’t like. |
| Chris: | The Dumb and Dumber, Dumb. |
| Mark: | Nope. |
| Chris: | But Ace Pet Detective two being birthed by the Rhino. |
| Matt: | Mr. Winky. |
| Tom: | Every time I’m in a bathroom stall with another guy next to me, I think of that scene when he’s trying to look at the diamond on the guy’s ring |
| Matt: | And he punches him. |
| Tom: | No, that’s the scene where the guy turns around and he’s gay and he follows him out of the bathroom- |
| Matt: | That was in the shower. |
| Tom: | Where he gets punched is when he whips the towel. |
| Matt: | That’s right. |
| Tom: | He counts the diamonds in the imprint in his forehead. |
| Chris: | I have no idea why this line for me is so funny in the movie, when he is talking to whatever, Courtney Cox, and he’s like, what do you feed your dog? Saddlebags. When I see, I just, okay. |
| Tom: | All right. Eight. |
| Chris: | Eight’s good. Eight’s good. |
| Tom: | Mark’s bowing out because he hasn’t seen it. Eight. |
| Chris: | We do have vetoes. Right? |
| Tom: | We do have plenty of vetoes. |
| Chris: | Is the veto where we veto or? What’s the- |
| Tom: | I want to get rid of that rule. |
| Chris: | You want to get rid of the- |
| Tom: | I only let it happen because I really think Netflix should have been higher, and now I regret adding it. |
| Chris: | All right. |
| Tom: | Jeremiah was talking to me yesterday and I’m like, I’m still pissed that they put Netflix so low. It really does bother me. |
| Chris: | I love it. All right, next. |
| Matt: | All right, then |
| Tom: | I got nipples. Greg, can you milk me? |
| Matt: | I’m trying to rank these by how often I remember hearing them. |
| Tom: | I quoted that one. |
| Matt: | From other people. |
| Tom: | What’s going on in my life? I’ve quoted that to Sarah several times. |
| Chris: | Your name’s gay lord fucker. |
| Matt: | And you’re an old nurse. |
| Tom: | Oh, yeah. Meet the fucker. |
| Chris: | It’s that movie. |
| Tom: | I got nipples. Greg, can you milk me? |
| John Chapman: | It’s De Niro. |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Matt: | De Niro being funny. I almost want to veto it. |
| Chris: | We could veto it. I’m okay. Have you seen that one, Mark? |
| Matt: | Meet the Fockers. |
| Chris: | Meet the Fockers. It’s not stupid comedy per se. |
| Matt: | Some of it is. Some of it’s not. Anything with Ben Steeler is going to have a level of dip to it. |
| Chris: | Right. I’m okay with vetoing. |
| Matt: | I’d say I’d like to veto that. |
| Tom: | All right. Vetoed. I got nipples. Can you milk me, Greg? |
| Chris: | How about this for the veto stuff. We get three vetoes, each of us. One veto each. |
| Tom: | Well, it depends on how many lines I came up with. One each? |
| Chris: | One veto each. Matt, I’ll take this veto. |
| Tom: | Either way, you got vetoes. |
| Chris: | I don’t have any more vetoes. |
| Tom: | All right. |
| Chris: | Mark and Matt do. |
| Tom: | Tiz but a flesh wound, Monty Python. By the way- |
| Chris: | There’s so many other funny one. |
| Tom: | Monty Python didn’t come up in any of these searches. |
| Mark: | How do you pick one line in [inaudible 00:59:28]. |
| Chris: | I agree with you. |
| Tom: | That’s why I’m saying it’s definitely not a comprehensive list. It’s even funny when the freaking cartoons are celebrated and the little flags go up and they’re like, yay. It’s funny too, I just… |
| Matt: | For me that would be 10, but I’m not a Monty Python. |
| Tom: | I’m not either, but I know that line. |
| Chris: | No, it’s not. It’s not. |
| Mark: | I think I’ll go for a walk. |
| Chris: | I’m not dead yet. |
| Tom: | I’ve never seen them. There was eight quotes from Princess Bride and I’m like, that’s a comedy. Anyways. |
| Chris: | It’s very much a comedy. |
| Tom: | You could veto it too. |
| Chris: | I don’t have any vetoes. I can’t veto it. But I would say that that’s probably 10. I like Monty Python. I’m a huge Monty Python fan, but there’s so many others from that movie. |
| Mark: | I would go with seven or eight because there’s better lines in the movie. |
| Chris: | What does he say when he is blowing raspberries and your mother, was it what? |
| Mark: | Your father’s mouth with elderberries. |
| Chris: | Yes. Yes. |
| Mark: | Got to leave before I taunt you once again. |
| Chris: | So great. So great. I just want to see no, no more. Great big tracks of land. Huge chunks of land. |
| Tom: | Mark said seven or eight, seven’s available. |
| Matt: | I’m fine with seven. |
| Tom: | Cool. Seven. But odds goes to 11. |
| Chris: | Spinal Tap. |
| Matt: | Spinal Tap. |
| Chris: | I want to say this. |
| Mark: | That’s got to be- |
| Tom: | Top five for me. |
| Chris: | The entire skit is what makes it. Absolutely, the whole skit in there of… |
| Tom: | But ours goes to 11. |
| Chris: | It had to be improvised. It had to be, I don’t think that was part of the script. |
| Matt: | There’s a lot of these movies. |
| Tom: | By the way, did I hear right that they’re making Spinal Tap too? |
| Matt: | Allegedly. |
| Tom: | I’ve heard there’s a script. |
| Mark: | I would give that two or three because you hear that in the real world a lot. |
| Chris: | A lot. |
| Matt: | I’d be good with three on that. |
| Tom: | Three? |
| Chris: | I’m cool with that. |
| Tom: | Okay. This is a long one, but one that, you’ll get it as soon as I start saying it. Feel free to interrupt me because it’s a long one. |
| Chris: | Oh, hold on a second, before you go into this. September 12th, 2025 is when Spinal Tap two is being released. |
| Tom: | Nice. |
| Chris: | That’s this year. |
| Matt: | The return of the Tap. |
| Tom: | What you just said there is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. |
| Matt: | Bill Madison. |
| Tom: | At no point in your rumbling, incoherent response, were you ever anywhere close to anything that could be considered a relatable thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it, Billy Madison. |
| Matt: | And my wife. |
| Chris: | A Simple no would’ve surprised. You know how many times I’ve used that in a sales meeting? |
| Matt: | I’d go probably five or six on that. |
| Chris: | Yeah. Five, six. |
| Tom: | You got both open. |
| Chris: | Six. I feel like there’s a better one out there. |
| Matt: | There’s got to be. |
| Tom: | Six. |
| Mark: | I would vote it because it’s too long. |
| Chris: | Hey, you got a veto. |
| Mark: | Quotable. |
| Tom: | You do have. |
| Chris: | You do have a veto. |
| Tom: | A veto. |
| Matt: | It is a tough one to quote. |
| Tom: | But it’s so fucking funny the way he’s so dry- |
| Chris: | Dead man. Everybody’s like, yes, Ms. Lippy is like, do it. Thumbs up. I just- |
| Tom: | He just [inaudible 01:03:14]. |
| Chris: | Miss Lippy. |
| Tom: | Puts it over her eye. He puts it over and closes her eyes. |
| Chris: | That movie. |
| Matt: | There’s a lot of really good quotes out of that. |
| Chris: | It is too hot outside for a penguin. |
| Tom: | This is personally probably one of my favorite movie quotes. |
| Chris: | I don’t even know you. What are you- |
| Tom: | Hey bro, you mind putting some pants on? I find it really odd. I got to ask you twice. |
| Matt: | Hangover. |
| Tom: | That movie again. |
| Chris: | Pants, who can think about Pants at a time like this. |
| Matt: | I honestly forgot about that. |
| Tom: | That is one of the greatest comedy movies of all time. |
| Matt: | Anything with Zach Galifianakis. If you’ve never watched Between Two Ferns. |
| Tom: | Oh my God. |
| Matt: | It’s one of the funniest things ever. |
| Chris: | The one with Brad Pitt. He spits the gum in his- |
| Tom: | When he asks Paul Rudd how he feels about failing at trying to be a secret Jew. |
| Matt: | He asked Matthew McConaughey if he’s uncomfortable because he has a shirt on. |
| Chris: | Brie. What’s her name? |
| Tom: | Brie Larson. |
| Matt: | I know you don’t like embarrassing questions. |
| Chris: | But when did you get your fruit period. |
| Tom: | All right. Anyways, coming back to it. Hey bro, do you mind putting some pants on, I find it weird. I got to ask you twice. |
| Matt: | I’d probably go with a four on that. |
| Tom: | Mark, have you ever seen it? You’re missing another good one. Four, five, four? |
| Chris: | Five for me. |
| Matt: | I’ll go five on that. Oh, I’ve got Doug’s phone. |
| Chris: | You got an airplane quote in there. You’ve got to have an airplane quote in there. |
| Matt: | He’s a white. Our Doug’s a white. |
| Tom: | Yeah. Oh, God. So funny. The Jonas brothers aren’t in town that week. |
| Matt: | No. I can go. |
| Tom: | Just- |
| Mark: | What I find the problem with your list is, is there’s funny lines. |
| Tom: | Can you fix your microphone and talk into it. |
| Chris: | Thanks. |
| Mark: | There’s funny lines and quotable lines. The pants line, it doesn’t fit in. |
| Tom: | If you’ve seen the movie, that was just me. Again, Google was no help in this. I had to find things I found were funny. |
| Mark: | I’m not saying they’re not funny, what I’m saying is- |
| Tom: | If you haven’t seen the movie, you don’t get it. |
| Mark: | Right. |
| Tom: | And so you don’t get it. |
| Mark: | But it would not be used in the bar situation. |
| Tom: | Well, listen, I’ve quoted it several times in my life. I’ve found situations to crowbar it in there. |
| Chris: | Pants. |
| Matt: | How can you think about pants at a time like this? |
| Mark: | That wasn’t the quote. |
| Tom: | Moving on. |
| Matt: | No, that’s when I hear that quote. I automatically say, I don’t know how you can think about pants at a time like this. |
| Tom: | This is the way he just turns around and says, it’s so nonchalant. |
| Matt: | And he’s walking around just shirt cocking it. Like Winnie the fucking poop. |
| Tom: | That would be another great one. Oh, he’s doing it. He’s just straight shirt cocking it. |
| Matt: | He’s just shirt cocking it. |
| Tom: | Surely you’re not serious. I am shirt serious and stop calling me shirt. |
| Chris: | The top three for me. |
| Mark: | Number one or two. |
| Matt: | It gets said a lot. I would put that one. |
| Tom: | Anytime anybody says Shirley, stop calling me Shirley. Number one. |
| Matt: | I just want to wish you both good luck. We’re all counting on it. |
| Chris: | Man, quit the wrong week to. |
| Matt: | Quit sniffing glue. |
| Tom: | Does anybody on the plane speak jive? |
| Chris: | I speak jive. |
| Matt: | Jive, and it’s Beaver’s mom. It’s Beaver Cleaver’s mom. |
| Tom: | Did you ever see airplane? Oh, okay. |
| Chris: | That’s why he says- |
| Tom: | Oh my God, I picked a bad week to stop doing cocaine. |
| Matt: | Picked the wrong week to stop doing it. |
| Chris: | What does he say to the, the very flamboyant guy? |
| Matt: | Well, he hands him the paper and he goes, what can you make out of this? Well, I can make a brooch or a pterodactyl or a hat. |
| Tom: | What was his name? |
| Matt: | I don’t have a clue. |
| Chris: | I can’t remember his name. |
| Matt: | Gay dude from Airplane? |
| Tom: | No, the comedy. |
| Chris: | Leslie Nielsen. |
| Tom: | Leslie Nielsen, because he was a drama actor for a long time. |
| Matt: | Anything he’s in is funny though. |
| Tom: | Oh my god. Naked Gun. |
| Chris: | Naked Gun too. |
| Tom: | Oh, come on. |
| Matt: | One, two, and three. |
| Tom: | All right. Surely you’re not serious. |
| Chris: | Two or three for me. |
| Matt: | I would say one or two. |
| Tom: | One or two is available. |
| Chris: | Two. |
| Matt: | Okay. We’ll go with two. |
| Tom: | Two. |
| Chris: | I feel like there’s another top one. |
| Tom: | Just when I think you’ve gone and done the dumbest thing, you go and do this. |
| Matt: | You go and totally redeem yourself. |
| Tom: | And totally redeem yourself. The dramatic pause is what makes it great. |
| Matt: | Oh, did you want a pair of my gloves? I have two and my hands are getting sweaty. |
| Tom: | Oh, would’ve been a better one of, hey, I got to pee. |
| Matt: | Just let it go man. |
| Tom: | Just let it go. |
| Matt: | Ooh, it’s so warm. |
| Chris: | No. I think you’re missing all of it. Samsonite, I was way off, dude. I say it every time I pull my luggage out, every single time. |
| Matt: | Do you have Samsonite luggage? |
| Chris: | No, I don’t but it makes Jen laugh. Samsonite. I was way off. |
| Matt: | Yeah, I bet he works out. |
| Tom: | All right. Just when you think you’ve gone and done the dumbest thing. Those sir are as good as money. |
| Matt: | Probably going to want to hold onto that one. That’s for a sports car. |
| Tom: | That’s a big one. |
| Chris: | Oh, that movie is Dumb and Dumber. |
| Tom: | Apparently the day that they filmed the laxative scene. |
| Matt: | Oh, God. Turbo Lax. |
| Tom: | Was the day that Jeff Daniels invited his mom and grandma to the set. He didn’t realize what they were filming. |
| Chris: | Oh, no. |
| Matt: | It’s okay. I’m a limo driver. Hey everybody, we landed on the moon, man. |
| Tom: | All right. Come on. We got to focus up. Mark, has completely lost his words. |
| Chris: | He’s lost his words. |
| Matt: | I would say this would probably be middle of the pack somewhere. |
| Tom: | You have six. |
| Matt: | Four, five, six. |
| Chris: | Six is good. |
| Tom: | You have four and six. |
| Chris: | Six is good. Six is good. |
| Matt: | Six. |
| Tom: | Damn it, Donnie, you’re out of your element. |
| Chris: | Oh man. |
| Tom: | Yeah, that’s definitely a comedy. |
| Matt: | I don’t think I know what movie that’s from. |
| Chris: | It’s Big Lebowski. |
| Tom: | Big Lebowski. |
| Matt: | Oh, I’m not a Big Lebowski. |
| Tom: | You need to watch few times. |
| Chris: | You need to watch it with me. |
| Tom: | Oh my God. |
| Matt: | I’ve seen it a few times, it just makes me want a white Russian. |
| Tom: | Yeah, definitely. |
| Matt: | And to go bowling, which- |
| Tom: | knowing what I know now, we did a bowling league several years ago with a bowling alley in town. They did a white Russian contest. It was a big Lebowski themed bowling league where all the teams had to use names from The Big Lebowski. They did a white Russian contest where every, they tallied every team how many white Russians they drank over the 20-week league. |
| Matt: | Oh my God. |
| Tom: | How we got away with that, I have no idea, because that’s probably illegal. |
| Matt: | It’s too much half-and-half. |
| Tom: | Yeah. By the way, the winning team was over a 100. |
| Matt: | Oh my God. |
| Tom: | Well over a 100. |
| Matt: | Take your lactate. |
| Tom: | Damn it, Donnie, you’re out of your element. |
| Matt: | For me that’d be higher. You know what? I’m just going to veto that. |
| Chris: | Yeah, I figured Matt would veto that one. |
| Tom: | Really? |
| Chris: | Yeah, he didn’t know the movie. All these, he’s known the movie. I agree with that veto. |
| Matt: | I’ve been seeing it a couple of times but. |
| Mark: | Moh go away. |
| Tom: | I’ll delete that. Is Moh aware that we do a podcast? |
| Mark: | Well, it’s- |
| Tom: | 12:30, we should be done. Maybe later I’ll show her my O Face. |
| Matt: | Oh, oh, oh. I know the line. I don’t remember what movie it’s from. |
| Chris: | So many other movies. So many other lines from that movie. |
| Tom: | I mean, I could have gone with my stapler. |
| Matt: | My stapler, so it’s red. It’s the red stapler. |
| Tom: | They told me I could keep my stapler. |
| Matt: | It’s red. Have you seen Mike stapler? |
| Tom: | What exactly do you do? |
| Chris: | I’m just going to have to ask you to come back. I got a meeting with the Bobs. |
| Matt: | If you could come in on Saturday, that’d be great. |
| Tom: | Nobody knew the term flare before that movie. |
| Matt: | You have to have 20 pieces of flare on your uniform. |
| Tom: | Don’t you see Tim over there? He’s got 38. I’m not saying you got to have 38. |
| Mark: | This is going to be weird but I watched that on Saturday. |
| Chris: | You watched Office Space on Saturday. |
| Tom: | I just recently watched it too. |
| Matt: | It’s a great movie. |
| Chris: | I never would’ve picked you watching that movie. |
| Matt: | I was going to say, oh, it’s another one Mark hasn’t watched. |
| Tom: | Yeah. And then there’s the facts’ scene out in the, I mean, or the Printer. Who has not wanted to do that to one of their printers. |
| Matt: | Damn, it feels good to be a gangster playing in the background. |
| Tom: | He turns it down. |
| Chris: | He turns it down. He drives back. |
| Tom: | The way he back heel kicks it, three or four times before they pull him off. |
| Chris: | Gets down in his hand and starts punching it. |
| Tom: | Pieces are flying. All right. |
| Chris: | I told him, those bean bags that I liked, Michael McDonald or whatever he says. |
| Tom: | You mean your name is Michael Bolton. |
| Chris: | Thank you Michael Bolton. I love Mike. |
| Tom: | That’s got to be cool. Try having your name as Michael Bolton. All right. Maybe later I’m going to show her my old face. |
| Matt: | I dated a girl that later in life married a Michael Bolton. |
| Chris: | That’s a low one for me. |
| Tom: | You’ve got nine and 10 left. |
| Chris: | I’ll do nine. |
| Matt: | I think nine’s fair on that. I dated a chick that married a Michael Bolton. |
| Tom: | Really? |
| Matt: | She’s now Melissa Bolton. |
| Tom: | Wow. |
| Matt: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | You got to take advantage of that somehow. |
| Matt: | Hey, when a man loves a woman. |
| Tom: | Yeah. Whenever they call in for a reservation, they use Michael Bolton is the name. |
| Matt: | It works until he shows up. |
| Tom: | You got the reservation, you’re fine now. |
| Matt: | It’s true. You’re in the book. |
| Chris: | All right. Now it’s- |
| Tom: | All right. You’ve got one, four and 10 left. He got knocked the fuck out. |
| Matt: | Oh, from Friday. |
| Tom: | Could have also used, damn. |
| Chris: | That’s probably the last one that we have. |
| Matt: | That’d probably be 10. |
| Chris: | Yeah. |
| Tom: | Okay. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast. Happy Gilmore. |
| Chris: | Dude. Middle of the pack. |
| Tom: | I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. |
| Matt: | You eat shit for breakfast? |
| Tom: | You eat shit for breakfast? |
| Matt: | No. No, I don’t. |
| Tom: | Maybe now as I’m thinking about this, maybe comedy scenes. I mean, him and Bob Barker going at it. |
| Chris: | Dude. |
| Matt: | Rolling down the hill. |
| Chris: | Price is wrong, bitch. |
| Mark: | I got to tell Dan this is one of your weaker attempt. |
| Tom: | Not for these two. I’m sorry. I tried to involve things that you would like, but I didn’t know what comedy movies you have watched. |
| Mark: | No. The whole top 10 idea is so centered on how you like the movie. |
| Tom: | All right. We’ll quit doing it then. |
| Mark: | I didn’t mean to piss you off. |
| Tom: | I’m trying to do things for the podcast and just- |
| Mark: | You’re doing well. |
| Tom: | All right. Let’s just move on. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast. |
| Matt: | That’d be higher on the list for me. |
| Chris: | Four. |
| Matt: | What’s that? |
| Tom: | Four is available. |
| Chris: | Three. |
| Matt: | That works. |
| Tom: | If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. |
| Matt: | Oh man. |
| Mark: | Makes me bleed my own blood. |
| Matt: | There’s a lot of one-liners. |
| Chris: | There’s so many good one-liners in that one. |
| Matt: | Nobody. |
| Chris: | What do we got left? One? |
| Tom: | Yeah. Is that number one? |
| Matt: | I guess. |
| Tom: | You got one veto. |
| Chris: | Any more choices do we got? |
| Tom: | Two more choices left and one veto to go?. |
| Chris: | No, we’ve all vetoed. |
| Matt: | No, Mark has his veto, doesn’t he? I think Mark still has his veto. |
| Tom: | No, he did Damn it, Donnie. |
| Matt: | Oh. |
| Tom: | Or you did Damn it, Donnie? |
| Matt: | No. He did Damn it, Donnie. |
| Chris: | He did something else. |
| Tom: | I have nipples, Greg was vetoed. Can you milk me, and then what you just said there was the most insanely idiotic yada. |
| Chris: | He did. |
| Matt: | Okay. Well, yeah he- |
| Chris: | Can we, postponed? Because I want to hear the other ones that you have. |
| Tom: | Yeah. I’ve only got one other one. You motorboat son of a bitch. |
| Matt: | Oh, from Wedding Crashers. Were they built for comfort or for speed? You motorboat and son of a bitch you. |
| Chris: | Which one’s better? |
| Matt: | My favorite one line out of that movie is, thanks a lot team player. You didn’t just finish getting jacked off under the dinner table in front of the family. I’m going to go upstairs and ice my junk. |
| Tom: | All right. Which one are you guys putting number one? |
| Mark: | Motorboat. |
| Matt: | I would probably do the Motorboat. |
| Tom: | Really? |
| Matt: | It gets quoted quite a bit. |
| Tom: | Yeah. I figured, you can dodge a wrench would probably get quoted more. |
| Matt: | Now if you would’ve done. I don’t think Hallmark makes irony cards. He just had a ton of irony, fall down, kill your coach. |
| Tom: | I don’t know that one. |
| Matt: | The patches of Houlahan. He wheels underneath the luck of the Irish sign and it falls and kills him. |
| Tom: | Is that Wedding Crashes? |
| Matt: | Dodge Ball. |
| Tom: | Oh, Dodge Ball. |
| Chris: | Dodge Ball. |
| Tom: | By the way, I’ve never even seen Dodge Ball. |
| Matt: | Oh, well, you’re missing out, it’s pretty funny. |
| Tom: | I picked it. I was like, oh well, that’s an easy one. |
| Matt: | The lumberjacks. |
| Chris: | Good Ben Stiller. |
| Matt: | You must be daddy. |
| Tom: | Yeah. By the way, I can’t even believe I did this entire list without an Austin Powers quote. |
| Chris: | Oh wow. |
| Matt: | That surprises me. |
| Chris: | There’s a lot of quotes. There’s a lot of movies. |
| Tom: | My baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. |
| Matt: | Get in my belly. |
| Chris: | So funny. |
| Matt: | I like the ping scene. |
| Tom: | The one that actually made me laugh out loud in the theater was Mini-Me writing a note to Beyonce. Do you have a Mini-Me and you? Flips it over. Do you want one? I laughed out loud in the theater in that. |
| Matt: | In Goldmember |
| Tom: | Mole. All right. Anyways, that’s our list. I won’t go through it. It’ll be posted on it because there’s too much to quote. |
| Matt: | Moly, moly, moly, moly. |
| Tom: | He sticks it with a stick. |
| Chris: | Freaking sharks with laser beams. |
| Matt: | $1 million. |
| Tom: | I still do that when everybody’s just- |
| Chris: | Anyway. |
| Tom: | Great serious news. All right guys. That’s going to do it for us on this episode. Sorry, we went a bit long. We’ll be back with episode 246. |
| Chris: | Bye. |
| Tom: | Bye everybody. |
| Matt: | Yeah, sure. |
